Feeling like we are growing apart
My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 years. He is 40, and I am 35. We have had a rough couple of years. In 2018 we had to sale our business. We took a year off, and found another business to invest in. We aren't at a place financially where we can hire any employees yet. So his mother, him, and myself work everyday.
He and I were already starting to have some problems before we opened our new business in February. With the remodel and trying to get everything done in a certain time frame, we were getting to where we were lashing out at one another because we were all so stressed.
I felt like he wasn't putting in the same effort to get the business remodel done, and he and his mother felt I was trying to do everything myself and not allow them to help. So I felt ganged up on. We got past that and were doing okay.
Then it got to where I was going to bed alone all the time. He would lash out at me about him needing his alone time if stayed up just a little past when he thought I should go to bed. Our sex life has suffered tremendously. Which we have discussed and he says that it's his age, but he takes care of things on his own with no problem. So, I know it's because that is easier for him.
I have told him what I need, and I feel like it isn't important because he is content with the way things are. If it isn't his needs then it seems he doesn't worry much about it. At times when we do talk about it, it seems like because he supports me and the children finacially then it should mean my needs are taken care of.
When it seemed like we were on pace to getting back to normal again, his best friend since junior high passed away. So on top of worrying about our financial stability, now he is having to go through this grieving process, and I just feel like it would be selfish of me to bring up my feeling we have this disconnect between us.
Then, he forgot my birthday. I feel like I have been taking a backseat to everything, and then he just forget about my birthday. I already felt taken for granted, and to spend 90 percent of my birthday alone was just depressing. With not even a happy birthday.
He lashed out at me when I reminded him it was my birthday, that it was my fault and I should have told him sooner so he could try to fix it. By that point, to me, the day was already crap anyhow and nothing would have fixed it.
I mean I worked so he could go to his friends house to have some me time as he calls it.
Wait - He TELLS you when togo to bed? Im 34 and I can't imagine somebody at our age telling me to go to bed. I have had sex with men over 40 and trust me, age is NOT a factor. How many children do you have together? Is it posible that he is only staying for the childrens sake? And then to forget your birthday.... Im sorry, but I just cant even begin to think what to think about this relationship. You're still young and you do NOT deserve to be treated so disrespectfully. You dont have to stay somewhere just because its where you have been for the past 7 years. You really need to think about what YOU want for your future, whether or not that be including your boyfriend.