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He moved on the same day we broke up. I'm devastated

CONFUSEDINCANADA profile image
Relationship advice My boyfriend of one year, has never treated me with a lot of respect. He was very neglectful of us as a couple, I had to beg him to spend time with me because everything came before our relationship. He had to socialize with his friends every single night after work, consuming alcohol, and then he would come home at 12 or 1 in the morning oh, and by that time he was too tired to spend any time with me so our time together consisted of him sleeping. He also has a key to his ex's apartment which I had no idea about, until he told me about three days ago. And then I found out that he sleeps there while she's out of town on the nights he doesn't sleep at my house. Because it's a place that him and his buddies can hang out. He doesn't see any problem with having a key to her apartment while he's in a new serious relationship with somebody else. He pursued me for two years before I would tell him okay to try a relationship. Finally I got fed up and broke it off with him yesterday, and last night, literally the same day, he already have another woman in the picture. And it is not his ex. One of his friends told me that he hung out with another female.

I'm so devastated. How can you mistreat somebody, watch them hurt and cry and feel lonely, and then when they get fed up and finally leave you kick them when they're down even more? How do I even move on from this? Why would somebody pursue a relationship so hard just to fuck it all up so bad. And I have done everything for him, I've been nothing but a loyal woman. And I became close with his kids. Why would a man do this? Will he ever realize what he has done?.

I also should add that the last few weeks that we have been arguing a lot over the stupid things he does when he's drinking, like staying out until the morning, he's been crying and getting emotional and I don't know if this is because he's guilty for something? It's all of his anger towards me when we fight because he's deflecting his wrongdoings on to me? He's been accusing me of doing things behind his back simply because I'm reacting to the stupid things that he's been doing to me lately. I'm so confused. So when I ended things with him he got extremely angry at me and told me to fuck off, and not call him again and that we were over. It's almost like he was taking a break up into his own hands. And trying to put the blame on me for all of our problems. I might add that I do not drink, and he drinks daily. And he tells me he doesn't spend time with me because he is busy trying to make money. I don't see how you can make money by sitting around with your friends drinking. And sleeping your ex's apartment which he genuinely sees nothing wrong with since shes out of town 90% her life.

He moved on the same day we broke up. I'm devastated

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At the end of the day, you were barely on this guy's radar. If he respected you and needed to be with you, his drinking with his buddies etc wouldn't have a got a look in and his actions sure were talking when he still had access to his absent ex's apartment and without your knowledge. His final actions that you post about are basically just to be expected from someone who's never really been 'with' you during your 12 months together.

You need to move on and heal, to give yourself a chance to eventually find someone who shares your values and goals in life and someone who will love and respect you for who you are.

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