Parents can be toxic as well
....- - Jul 1 2020 at 07:23
Everything I do can be better, when I really try they ignored me. When I don’t try I not good enough, I am lazy, Not responsible, disrespectful. It doesn’t matter how I do it I am a disappointment. She always bring the past to make me feel bad. She never think of the damage she does by bring past mistakes she thinks that I don’t go through shit. That i only focus on my phone. She can’t understand that I need space, freedom. She makes me feel worthless at times she judges me without understanding. It hurts that she just sees the outside and not that I am burning inside with the past the present and the future.
Hey, its going to be ok! I am 34 and ALL my life I have had to deal with a narcassistic mother. Nothing I ever did was good enough, she never told me she loved me etc. As I got older it got even worse. When I got my first administration job I was so happy because it meant I could finally get out of hospitality work. It was apparently a job she had always wanted but never managed to get (she lacks motivation and has depression) but somehow it was my fault and because she was jealous she got angry and didnt speak to me for months. When her and my father were going through a sticky spot I opened my home up to them and they made fun of me and slandered me to some other famiy members that lived in the area, made up lies etc. I know its hard now and it likely will always be this way with her - but one day you WILL escape her and her opinions wont matter to you anymore. It will be ok, I promise. Just keep your head down and do the best you can and prove her wrong.
I am so sorry to hear of the emotional pain you are suffering. Perhaps together, we can explore some options that are available to you. First, allow me to ask some questions. How old are you? How long has this been happening? Are you currently living with your parents?
Without knowing this I can only offer some suggestions to consider. Pray first. Trust in God at all times, because we and the people around you are fallible. I'm not sure if you are in control or your parents are at this time in your life, but this much I do know. God is a refuge for us (Psalm 62:8).
I hope you respond to these questions so we can continue this conversation.