About to start convincing my parents to let me marry a divorcee! SOS!
I am a 24-year-old Indian girl with conservative parents. I am in a relationship with a divorcee (29 y/o) for the past four years. It obviously has been an emotional rollercoaster with him and I took my own time to decide if he really is the one for me. And now, nothing can ever make me doubt that. We are planning to get married in December 2021. My parents found out that I was dating him (through someone else) and they freaked out.
What followed after that was a very ugly scene of crying and convincing (from both sides- my parents and I). It got so bad that my father ultimately told me that if I want to marry him, I will have to break all ties with my paternal home. I do not want to lose someone else while I start a new life with my would-be husband, especially not my parents and siblings. I am not living in India at the moment, and I am looking for a full-time job. I believe that I should first have a job that pays me enough to manage my own bills and then break this news to my family that I still want to marry him and I have no doubts about that.
I really need help in understanding the right way to approach my father and mother to convince them. I am very attached to them and I completely understand that their worry is 100% correct. But the man I love is actually innocent with respect to his first marriage. It was an arranged marriage and he could never build an emotional bond with her. They do not have any kids. I am not blaming his ex either because I know she is also going through an emotional rough phase. His family now knows about me and they all have accepted me with lots of love and open hearts and mind. What can I do to make this a little easier for myself? I am not willing to let this relationship go at any cost.
Please help me, internet family!
Why the exaggerated objection? Is it the divorce?
I can’t imagine shunning my daughter because she Wants to marry a divorced man, but it seems you have some cultural/ religious barriers to deal with.
Do you have any other support from adult relatives? How about his parents? You are going to need to get someone else to advocate for your relationship.
Good luck. This is not fair to you.
I am sorry to hear about your conundrum. Well, I know you love your parents and require their support regarding your marriage. However, at the end of the day, you are solely responsible for how you choose to lead your life and your happiness. You parents /family are incapable of doing that even though in your culture/religion does influence or dictate your life choices. It is challenging, but remember you only have one life to leave and your parents are not going to be around forever. Explain to your parents that you love them and hope that one day they understand the choices that you have made, that you want to be happy. If they still oppose your decision, just do want makes you happy. At least your fiance's family are loving and supportive of your marriage. Good luck!