My bf and I have a great relationship and we've been together for a year. We live 2 hours apart and both still work (but retirement is only a few years away). The issue we have is as follows:
He wants to marry me now (or soon) and not live together first (which involves him moving and selling his house).
I want (and need) to live with him first; even for 6 months and then I can move forward. While I understand he doesn't want to "take a risk" of selling and moving to me without a legal commitment, I'm not comfortable with his idea.
Don't most people live together first and then move forward with marriage? His idea seems backwards to me. Marry first then go back to his old town and sell and then move to me???
My only thought is to spend more time together by reducing our work commitments - which I can do and I think he can do as well to some extent - but we'd still have to work 3 days a week.
I just can't seem to understand how you go from weekends only to marriage? Am I missing something?
I don't want to lose him and know he really loves me (and I love him) and want to find a "middle ground".
Thoughts or advice please.
Basically, the guy's ready to commit, but you aren't. You have to live with him first before you can make a decision. If he's 'not the one' regardless if you live together or not, then you really haven't any business being with him. If you were 100% comfortable with him, and within yourself, none of this would matter. You guys have different values and standards but you need to share them to be able to get on together.