My boyfriend was dating a girl for 4 years before he met me. When they broke up, they didn't part amicably. They both beared a lot of resentment towards each other. Now in the 2 years that we have been together he's tried to help her on multiple occasions just as a friend. But every time he's tried to reach out to her she's just blocked him. 1) He tried to let go of all the resentment and just move on in life. So he apologised to her over messages just to ensure there is no toxicity or burnt bridges.
2) We found out something about her fiance, which we thought she should be aware of before tying the knot, and instead of talking to her directly, we told her best friend and let her deal with it. In return she blocked us both on Instagram.
3) Recently due to the layoffs happening everywhere, she too lost her job. He saw her article on LinkedIn where she was looking for help to connect with someone and he reached out to her and messaged her the number of a person who he thought could help her. And she blocked him on LinkedIn too.
When this final incident happened, I got tired of it and told him he needed to get this toxicity out of his life. And I told him to block her on whatever remaining channels he had access to her. But he kept telling me that he wasn't a person like that. It's not in his nature to do it. And how people eventually learn from their mistakes. And if she did, and ever needed help he would be there. I was against this because that woman has no respect for him or how much he's tried to help her. Today he tells me he doesn't want to fight with me about this. So he's blocked her. Later when I could still see her on his list, I asked him about it, and then he said he's used the 'on a break' feature on Facebook where he hasn't still unfriended her but technically they can't see anything about each other.
I dont know why it's so difficult for him to do this after everything she's put him through. And I just don't know how to get through to him. Also I don't know if I'm overreacting about this. Any suggestions would really be appreciated!
The guy needs to understand that if his ex needed to be friends, her actions would be the opposite of what you have been seeing. She's basically telling him in no uncertain terms to mind his business. Sure, that's who he is trying to help her, but he needs to focus on your relationship together and you need to ask him to help you to understand why he persists, especially when you initially supported him in doing so. It shouldn't be a big deal for you if it doesn't cause any ripples but if you guys do fight about it, then you need to get him to open up to you about it, otherwise he could eventually learn the hard way, that his ex is not worth the effort.