Stupid relationship problems
So long story short my boyfriend of 7 years and I broke up back in December and just reconnected again finally in June. It was devastating to say the least for me without going into super personal details ill just say its always been a lot of nonsense and games hes not been the greatest guy he's cheated numerous times done horrible things behind my back kept plenty of secrets and he's been abusive in every possible way I'd say he's a bully for sure. I've always been so in love and attached to him and gone through hell with his narcissistic silent treatments and all so when he left me for all if those months it was hard now ive been left for other women had to find things out i didnt wanna know was told a hundred times how he wished I would just find some guy and move on and leave him and the skank of the month to it ive in 7 years not cheated once never slept with another man in 8 years only him. This 6 month split was the longest hardest break up of all not a word and I can pretty much guess where and what he's been up to, so anyway 3 months after I last seen him and after nonstop attempts to communicate with him I began to see someone, I was not thinking clearly I wasn't really interested in the guy it was more like maybe its what i needed to do since its all i ever heard from people me believing it was over for good and also just to do the same thing he does and hoping he would feel like i always felt idk def wasn't into the guy didnt call him my bf or feel anything at all really he to me was annoying and clingy but he did some nice things for me regardless of it all he just was not for me all I did was mope around and cry wishing my boyfriend would come back it was not more than 5 or 6 weeks a lot of which I was out of state I ended it and cut all communications off because it was not what I wanted havent spoke to him since may. So my boyfriend and I reconnect and he seemed to genuinely want to make things work i always was honest told him I was doing what I was at the time he didn't care not a word from him. So a week or two after we were back together I had told him my landlord called and said that the guy had been stopping by to look for me and I went down to get a restraining order and was honest like look the guy I was seeing for a few weeks was being weird and he just flipped out you would think i just slept with his best friend hes been so abusive and mean acting crazy one day but then he will be OK and oh he loves me he can't be mad cuz he left and he wants to get a house together and im all he wants for a few days then he starts back in on me im trash im a whore im sneaky mind you i never cheated and was honest about it but I wont tell him who the guy is not because I'm being sneaky or hiding anything just because its all just a game and another thing he will hang over my head and torture me with and its just not important I don't want the guy being the reason my boyfriend feels hurt and it didn't matter at the time he was gone and disappeared for months and I ended things before reconciling no contact changed numbers moved deleted social media all because i wanted nothing else to do with the guy. I mean we had sex one time only. It was nothing serious but my boyfriend acts ridiculous its been 3 weeks of him obsessing over the stupid shit calling me names treating me nice one day then texts after texts calling me every name in the book and now after making all of this effort and being the good guy that he used to be reassuring me how much he loves me and making plans to live together while I'm in a pretty low state of mind at the moment btw getting help for depression and what not he comes through like a dream come true for the last two months and then this week hes now broken up with me wont have anything to do with me hes convinced himself of a whole over embellished version of things he's seriously treating me as if I have been sleeping with a friend of his and smiling in his face but laughing behind his back and cant trust me basically hes assuming that im doing the things him and his skanks do and im hiding the guy so I can keep sneaking around and none of this is the case. He will never be with me again unless I tell him the guys name its horrible shitty nonsense as usual hes being a bully simply to get this bit of info to hold over my head and then it will go from obsessing for weeks over the fact that he knows the guy (he knows everyone in Minnesota btw) then it will just be worse and weeks of abusive insults and treating me like shit over the guy who is not this damn important its insane to me that he's dragged this stupid minor thing that would never have happened had he been here with me being a good guy on for weeks and now ended our relationship once again literally
After 7 years & there's a lot of history there, your man decides to wonder off for 6 months? In the meantime, after constantly trying to get him to talk to you during this time, you decide to do what you have to do to stay sane & now he throws it back in your face. Be grateful that he's ended it and gone away again because you don't need a guy like him anywhere near you. You're not his personal 'soccer ball' to kick around & abuse when he feels like it to justify his moods and needs, not to mention his cheating.
You need to realize that a good, genuine man will always respect & love you for who you are, rather than what you are to him.