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Saying sorry

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Emotional advice I have upset a close female friend (not a girlfriend) with some hurtful comments made in a text to her mum which her mum showed to her daughter. I am now mortified and distraught as this was out of character and sent in the heat of the moment and when I was in a bad place recently. I am going to send some flowers to her but should I just leave it at that and let time heal. Who should make the first move in a few weeks for reconciliation?

Saying sorry

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Hi,

I think it does depends on what was sent to your friends mum to be honest and if it was really personal or how hurtful it was. Whichever, your friends’ mum thought her daughter should see the text messages.

I would follow up with a verbal apology, if you do something wrong and it’s hurt someone it’s best to own up and apologise.

If she’s not willing to listen maybe time will heal and she’ll let you know when she’s ready.

Saying sorry

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Hello Del,
I'm sorry to hear you're going through this experience. I encourage you NOT to wait 'weeks' to fix this. Waiting for so long may send the message that you really don't care about the relationship with your female friend. I would try to text and see if she is willing to communicate with you. I would also send an 'im sorry' card, and write a sincere message of apology to her. Ask her forgiveness. When communication does open, I would explain that you were angry and allowed those feelings to guide your thinking at the time. You're only human, and we make mistakes. All you can do is apologize, and wait. It's up to her if she's going to forgive you or not, and you can't force someone to. If she doesn't you'll just have to move on, and hope that sometime in the future you can reconnect.

Have you asked her mum why she chose to show her daughter the messages? I mean, if you two are friends, why did she betray your friendship by going behind your back? Although she may have been upset about the comments made about her daughter, she should be able to remain unbiased and objective because she chose to have a separate relationship with you. In any case, I'd be careful what you say to her mum in the future.

Hoping the best for you.
January

Saying sorry

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Hi DEL,

Is there a reason why you chose to categorise your opening post as Violence & Crime or was it just a slip of the mouse?

Saying sorry

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Well, unless you return to tell me otherwise - for now, I'm going to change it to 'Emotional'.

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