My girlfriend of 8 months cheated on me, should I give her a chance?
My girlfriend went to a concert last night with one of her best friends and then a friend of hers who she used to be in a relationship with. The best friend got tired and decided to go home, but my girlfriend stayed with the other friend and went back to his house.
She told me she was doing this, and that the atmosphere was very relaxed and she felt like she was with one of her best friends. After being at his house for 3 hours she sent me a text saying that she was getting worried because he was getting closer to her and she didn't like where it was going. (I was already asleep at this point).
An hour or so later she then texted me saying she had screwed up and made a huge mistake. She tried to have sex with him, but is telling me that they weren't attracted to each other at all and she only went along with it because she didn't know how to stop it. However she did consent.
She said it only happened because they have a history and needed closure, and if it was with anyone else it wouldn't have happened. I told her in the past that if this happened (her cheating on me) then the relationship would be over, but after calling her and talking to her I am worried about her mental health and I am considering giving her another chance.
She has done similar things in the past, but never to the point that it could be considered cheating, such as falling asleep cuddling with someone for example. I would just like advice as to what I should do and what would be best for me because I have a habit of putting everyone else's needs first.
She lives in a different country so it would be impossible to see her right now (we go to university together)
My advice would be to do what feels right. I know that isn't as helpful as you would hope but, in these situations it all depends on how you feel. Can you trust her again? Can you work this out with her? As in sit down and talk openly without anger. Maybe try to see if you can leave out feeling for a discussion the both of you not mention feeling at all or bring them into it, discuss with logic first then let her know exactly how it made you feel and why. Then let her talk about her feeling on the matter as well. Hear eachother out think on it for a couple days and make an informed decision.
Are you ok with this situation? Can you trust her again? That's the most important because when you stay with someone that you don't trust anymore it become very difficult to continue the relationship. So I suggest you take care about your mental healthy first to don't freak out about this situation.
Then after you freshed your mind and did something different. Think about what's important for you now.
If you feel prepared to trust in her again and let that situation in the past is ok. But if the relationships won't be the same as it was my advice is end up.
Have you ever thought to talk about this with someone of your family?
Maybe the advice from your parents or something that is next of you can help a lot.
I hope you feel better.