Being seen without being seen
Been seen but not being seen
I posted this in another forum also to get feedback. I don't know that it is harming my life but can sometimes can consume my mind but here goes. First off, I don't know what to call this. Maybe it has a name, I don't know, but it is sort of specific but hard to describe but I will try because it has sort of frustrated me for a while. The short version is I like the thought of been seen without actually seeing someone looking at me. Now to give examples The most common one is that I like to go shopping and take clothes to a unisex fitting room. The type that has door with like angled wood on the doors thats like vented or the walls don't go all the way to the floor or just have curtains. I try to go in one that has someone in the room nest to mine especially if I can tell if a man is in it. I will completly undress, usually leaving my underwear on the floor. After that, I usually will just hold clothes up to me or something, not really caring about trying stuff on. The high I get is wondering if someone is peeking through the door or curtain or from underneath it maybe a security camera. The even crazier thing is, I don't actually want to see someone doing that. That's when I would feel embarrassed. I would rather someone think they are spying on me rather than me letting them look at me, if that makes any sense. I have done this more times than I can count and have luckily never made eye contact with anyone. Having said that I never know for a fact someone saw me naked but sometimes I think they may have. It's not just fitting rooms either. I will leave my blinds turned open sometimes at night when changing but I live in an apartment and not that many people pass my window but I like the thought of it. I have also gone to kinda cheaper tanning salons (not ones that are a bigger company) with the thought that maybe they have a hole in the wall or a camera set up to watch. Those are a couple examples. I know it's sounds ridiculous. I can't explain why I like it and it's strange that is kinda so specific. I don't talk about it with anyone Soni wanted to see if anyone, which I doubt, has heard of something like this. Sorry it was so long.
It’s called “ hide and seek” and it’s very exciting, isn’t it? At least for youngsters.
Problem is, as an adult, you are conducting this activity close to it being unlawful. You may get in trouble Doing this in a public place.
I don’t mean to “ shame” you but perhaps talking to a counselor may help you direct this excitement elsewhere to another activity or safe place.
What exact feeling you have after doing it?
When and how it all started at first?
Sounds like "exhibitionist"...I'm just worried about you getting hurt :(.