Looking for advice
KATZ1967 - Sep 2 2020 at 23:28
Hi I'm just looking for advice on this oneI have been friends with this guy for a few years and after a short time I fell in love with him but I think it's one sided .sometimes I think he wants to be really involved but is afraid to say it.... early on in the friendship he would peck me on the cheek when we were parting company I spent one overnight with him in a hotel
I'm so confused the last time I seen him was a month ago as we parted that evening he kissed me full on the lips .. I'm so confused I'm not sure if this meant he wants to be more involved romantically or if it was a once off ... Should I ask him upfront or just leave it
If this is someone you are really interested in than communication is key.
I would ask what he considered our relationship to be, I would tell him I would like it to be exclusive..and see his reaction.
Even if you don't like his reaction it is better to know what he feels because #1 you just don't want to be another girl he is "hooking" up with every once in a while...everyone wants to be important and in someones life (maybe not everyone, but people who like relationships) and you sound like you would like a relationship...So go for it...
If you don't like the reaction..than you will know you have to look somewhere else for your "love" and you are too good to just be a once in a while "hook up".
I just don't want to jeopardise a friendship either if he's not interested how do I get around it and keep our friendship
So I don't want to sound negative. BUT I feel that either way the friendship could be ruined.
IF he says that he is only interested in being friends. then what is your plan? Do you feel that you can continue to be his friend and push your feelings for him away? How will you handle things when he brings up other girls or dates others?
I do not know you. But I speak from my experience that I had with a guy friend. He was everything I wanted from my ex and he said I was everything he wanted from his ex. We clicked like nothing I ever had before. When we would be together as he lived in a different city, we would share the bed together. He always started the cuddle. NOTHING MORE lol. When driving, HE would hold my hand. he would kiss my hand. He would kiss my forehead. ALL this stuff that made it seem like there was something more between us.
But he didn't want a relationship.
And I tried to be his friend because I loved the friendship we had. BUT then we would get in that spiral again and he would start those actions again so finally I couldn't do it. I walked away. Plus I know My heart will break when he dates someone else.
So from my experience, expressing my feelings for him didn't ruin our friendship BUT it took a toll on me emotionally. Which made me have to walk away. He knew my feelings and he didn't change his behaviour when we visited.
Just be mindful of your emotions and think about what and how you will feel IF his feelings don't match yours.
Well if your afraid saying anything will jeapordize your friendship than you have to decide if it is a friendship you can tolerate as JUST a friendship? And if it is than just stick around and see how things go the next few times you see him. You said he kissed you straight on the lips last time....I would just wait then...If it were me thou and I was in "love" and knew someone would never reciprocate those feelings it would hurt me to much to even remain friends (I would always be in my head making it more or wishing for more).
Just make sure you don't get hurt or used :(