How to find out if he's married
I have been with a guy for 3 years and wanted a baby and marriage. I was 39 when we met and it was probably my last chance. We really connect but he has made constant excuses about why we can't be together. The main one was that commitment freaked him out and he didn't understand why but he just needed to pull away from me from time to time. At the same time he talks constantly about us getting married, our future, how much he loves me and texts up to 5 hours a day. I wish I didn't keep going back to him but I can't help myself. He's muslim, 38 now, and told me we need to keep a low profile because dating in his culture is not acceptable. He lives with his Mum and can't stay the night with me given we are not married he says. He's not introduced me to anyone he knows. As he works evenings when I'm off we mainly used to see each other on a Saturday night at my flat. He was free for holidays. I'm trying to work it all out. I tracked down his address and have accessed an old electoral register which seems to tally that he lives in his old family home - however there could also be a wife there too. I really need closure on this. How can I find out or sure? The alternative is that I have been manipulated the whole time and he really has no feelings, just used me for the physical, which is totally devastating.
When a man truly loves a woman, he can't bear to be away from her and will move heaven and earth to be with her constantly. Regardless of who this guy is and what his religion is, the fact that he's strung you along with excuses should be a red flag for you, particularly when you have made your needs clear.
It's not so much about finding out if he's married or not, it's about you being with a guy who, as you state, controls and manipulates your relationship together. While you continue to be with him, you will unlikely have any sort of a successful relationship with him. Instead of being happy and content, you will be as you are now.
After 3 years, it's his actions that you need to focus on, rather than listen to his words.