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My future Mother-in-law has cancer...

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Relationship advice Hey everyone,

I'm having kind of a dilemma. I got engaged back in November and have been planning a wedding for this November. Yes even COVID wasn't going to stop us from getting married. It wasn't about the number of attendees anyways.

However, within the past few weeks my mother-in-law to be has been diagnosed with lymphoma and will be starting an 18 week 6 cycle chemotherapy treatment. Which obviously puts her at getting treated right around the time of my honeymoon.

I don't feel comfortable with her being by herself on a treatment week while her son and I are gone. However she doesn't want to stay with her daughter that week and idk how to approach her daughter about maybe looking after her that week. Getting her daughter involved in the treatment plan has already caused a fight between my Fiancè and I so I really don't want to start another one.

My questions are this. How should I approach the conversation with my Fiancè about possibly having to cancelling our honeymoon? Or how can I go about convincing my MIL that staying with her daughter for a few days isn't the end of the world.

Cancellation of the honeymoon would be disappointing. But I'm used to having to make sacrifices at this point. This whole wedding planning process has been about what I'm willing to sacrifice in order to actually get married this year. I just don't want this to be a decision that I only make and make irrationally. It's my wedding. It would be nice if I could have my cake and eat it too. But if I can't I want to have a realistic conversation.

My future Mother-in-law has cancer...

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Cancel honeymoon? Why not reschedule it? i know it is not ideal...but neither is everyone fighting...and it doesn't sound like you would enjoy yourself on the honeymoon knowing someone you love is going thru a difficult time...Nothing has been ideal with COVID...and in addition to that adding a Cancer diagnosis to the mix is a horrible set of events....

I'm sorry you are going thru this at what should be the happiest time in your life...But it still is happier than what MIL is going thru...and the honeymoon...well, will be more fun when you know your MIL is at least thru her treatments...those are my thoughts.

My future Mother-in-law has cancer...

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You need to ask yourself what your MIL wants and needs. You can't help her if she prefers to stay by herself and it's basically her decision to cope with it the way she feels comfortable. If you have already argued with your fiance about his sister being involved, then it's a heads up for you about not going there. It shouldn't be hard to discuss with your fiance about postponing your honeymoon until a later date, after all, there's a very good reason when it's about his mother's health and well being.

Nobody should judge you for putting your MIL first, but if you're getting married particularly during a difficult time, then that's where your priorities lie.

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