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My best friend is not father of his oldest

NICK KING profile image
Relationship advice I've known for 18 months and I am finding it hard be his friend knowing this.hes separated two years and there are 3 kids. First isn't his and is now 14. He doesn't s on terrible terms with his ex as he found out she had a few affairs.to make it worse his cousin is the father of his oldest
I know its none of my business but he's my best friend

My best friend is not father of his oldest

NICK KING profile image
He doesn't know the child isn't his

My best friend is not father of his oldest

NICK KING profile image
Should I tell him

My best friend is not father of his oldest

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OH WOW...So he doesn't know this....
And you are his best friend.

If this was my best friend I would tell him what I know....but I don't know how "dangerous" the cousin is. If you are going to tell your best friend I suggest telling your friend but having your friend THEN support YOU to getting a restraining order on the cousin if you think the cousin is dangerous.

This is really hard cause its not fair to YOU because if you don't tell him and he finds out later that you knew...he will be hurt.
If you don't tell him...you will hold this in and it may make you physically ill....You already said you are "acting" or "feeling" some sort of way...

And lastly, if you were my best friend I would tell you....

My best friend is not father of his oldest

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What good would come of this if you tell him?

This is the mother’s responsibility .


My best friend is not father of his oldest

NICK KING profile image
Mother definitely will not tell him and Will deny it
He has a right to know the truth?
I'm leaning towards telling him as he deserves to know the truth
But the fallout is enormous
She knows I know
My fear is she will tell him I knew for 18 months
I found out from one guy she had an affair with. Total of 7 affairs I know of

My best friend is not father of his oldest

CHOMPAS profile image
Tell him
For his sake and for the child
They all deserve the truth
If he is truly your best friend then he will remain so and will be grateful to you

My best friend is not father of his oldest

NICK KING profile image
It's difficult but I feel I would want to know. I am leaning towards telling him but keep rethinking it as the fallout is enormous for everyone

My best friend is not father of his oldest

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Do you have paternity test results? Or just a suspicion that this could be?

Think of the welfare of the child FIRST.

My best friend is not father of his oldest

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Its the job of the parents to think of the child first.
And you really should tell him...cause your right if he finds out you knew for 18 months you may also lose this friend.
The fall out is NOT on YOU....You didn't have a child and lie to your partner.....Its her problem to deal with...and better now while the child is young so he isn't misled into thinking someone is his Father that isn't....

My best friend is not father of his oldest

NICK KING profile image
I'm taking your advice and telling him.id want to know.thank you all.
Nick

My best friend is not father of his oldest

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You can encourage him to have a paternity test.

That’s about all you can do at this point.

Besides he may already know or maybe even suspect it. A

My best friend is not father of his oldest

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I agree with Susiedog...he might already know or have a suspicion.
Who knows he could even know somehow that you know...and is confused as to if you should be telling him or if he should be mad at YOU.
I think you are doing the right thing...
I think you will feel better.
You did not cause this pain....other people did...you can only be there to listen and be his friend.
Good luck....truly.

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