Green eyed monster
I am currently dating a paranoid schizophrenic, it has I have to say been an arduous journey
My problem is my horrendous jealousy
I thought as I matured that I was managing my emotions quite well but recently my partner has started to look at other women when we are together
He constantly and quite obviously checks them out
He also frequently has and shares amongst his friends porn a graphic material
I have made my feelings about this quite clear
It drives me crazy and I feel I am getting more and more paranoid and my self esteem is rock bottom
As far as I'm concerned I only have eyes for him and I want the same in return
I do not appreciate him getting kicks out of another woman
It's consuming my whole life and I don't know what to do anymore
I can't tell because I don't know you if your problem is horrendous jealousy or you have chosen a boyfriend that just has a wandering EYE. Nothing to do with his schizophrenia...
I also don't know how long you have been dating him. I also don't know if you react this way with every person you date (if it is internal) or if you just feel this way around this particular person? I'm very confused....LOL.
I am a super jealous person...my first husband I was with for 22 years...and he actually ended up having sex with my SISTER....That's how BAD he was...I eventually had to end that relationship because I was sick of always looking over "his" shoulders....and always feeling "less than"...it took a very big chunk out of my self esteem and I should have left him much earlier because there were other cheats and flirtations WAY before he slept with my sister.
So the last boyfriend I had...I was particularly aware of where his eyes were because of my messed up past experiences with someone for 22 years! I noticed that this particular boyfriend made me feel so "safe" we would walk thru grocery and I would see beautiful woman approaching or in isles over and the whole time shopping and any other occasions we went out he never took a notice to the other females..It almost seemed at the times they were "approaching' getting closer to our area...he would make gestures toward me such as grabbing me and putting his arm around my neck or right at the moment one would be passing decide he had to tell me something and start talking to me adverting his gaze my way....It was a wonderful feeling which I only can describe as being very "content" and "safe"....
He was very handsome and broad...and friendly...but never ever made me feel threatened and I adored that about him....It was the first time my eyes opened up to WOW...Not EVERY GUY is a flirt or always thinking with what is in their pants.....
So because of this...I say to you...if you are not feeling safe and content in your relationship with this man....I don't feel he is the right person for you to be with....I know a couple of signs that let me know I am with the right person is if I feel content...
Lets say you think you feel content in every other area of this relationship...and you think it is something inside you that is over reacting...Then in that case..I would have a conversation with him pointing out the various times I have felt "discontent" when I was with him and he was checking out other women...you SHOULD be able to have the conversation with him and have him make improvements IF he cares about your relationship.
If you feel that you CANT even have the conversation with him...than this absolutely is something you should really think about..Do you even belong in this relationship?
I don't know you...so I can't say...but my gut feeling is I don't think you should be in this relationship...if your feeling so MUCH discontent.