My husband and I are at an impasse. I don't know how to get past it
We've been together for 7 years, 3 married. My husband brought home a gun 4 years ago, there was no indication before that he was interested in them. I'm pretty anti-gun, he knew this. I'm going to try to make this short.
He bought 2 guns and brought them home, we had been dating for a few years at this point. I was upset, we had a fight and in the end I agreed that he could keep them as long as he kept them locked up.
A few weeks before he proposed, he brought up that he wanted to get a concealed carry permit. I said I wasn't comfortable with that. We had a discussion and eventually he said that he respected that I was uncomfortable and wouldn't apply. He later proposed and I said yes. We got married a few months later with me thinking the gun issue was behind us.
About a year later I found some conceal carry holsters and accessories for a different gun. Turns out that he had bought another one without me knowing. We had just bought a house and I was pregnant. I felt like I couldn't leave him over it but explained that this was my limit. He said he hadn't applied for a ccw and wouldn't.
A year later I found his guns hidden in the shoe rack by the door and under the bed, both unsecure and loaded. I was upset and we had what I thought was a come to Jesus talk about my boundaries around the guns. He locked up the guns but not before telling me that he had applied for the ccw permit a few months ago.
He told me he wouldn't persued the permit any farther. Recently they contacted him to see if he was still interested and gave him a deadline of 9/30 to complete a course. He said he was going and I told him I wasn't comfortable and felt like I had compromised enough.
The 30th passed and I thought this was all behind us. Today he told me that he had emailed someone higher up and gotten the deadline extended and he'd be going to a class next week. He said he was going to drop it but started feeling resentful.
I honestly don't know how to handle this. We have a strong ideological difference and we are not compatible on this issue. I am already resentful of him for bringing the guns into our house without my knowledge and for applying for the ccw behind my back. If he goes through with it and carries every day I will think about it every time I see him put on his gun before we go out. He says he will be resentful if I don't let him get the ccw.
How do we fix this? How can we coexist with this difference of opinion?
TL;dr: I want no guns in the house. My husband wants guns plus a ccw. He brought guns in anyway and wants me to compromise by letting him get a ccw too.
You both have very strong feelings for and against guns. Why does he want them so bad? What is he afraid of? I think his sneaky ways are not good. If he wants your kind of blessing he has to lock up the gun like you discussed. He has to do his part for the compromise to work. Guns are a big deal, specially w kids. An unlocked gun in the home with kids in my opinion is a big no. I am the Dad in our home and I still do not like the idea. Maybe you two can discuss the issue, figure out a compromise and really stick to it!
I’m not sure what state you live in but I’m from Virginia my ex husband had several guns and hand guns but he always left them in the gun vault locked up unless he was going hunting. I now live in the U.K. with my second and last husband and there is illegal uses for guns unless you live on a farm to protect your stock from foxes and the lot. As long as my husband was responsible with his gun and he taught our son and daughter about guns and they never touched them. In this violent days I can see why people will arm themselves and their homes. Talk to him and tell him you are not comfortable without having them locked in a gun safe.