Time to walk?
Help. Divorced with two kids, moved on and in with the guy I thought was my forever. Turns out I’m a backseat to everything in his life. As a farmer we moved to him- his mom died, and his dad depends deeply on him. I’m finding myself desperate for any affection and even his acknowledgement that I deserve that and physical interaction.
He is always tired and sore from his day (legitimiate) but selfish to what is in front of him and doesn’t give me any sexual or verbal satisfaction.
What do i do
This guy's priorities are elsewhere and his commitment is to his father and the farm now that his mum is gone. While you thought it was forever, other circumstances have got in the way which diverts him away from your relationship together and your needs. Unless you can sit him down and have a serious heart to heart with him, and discuss with him that he needs to share his responsibilities and at least respect you and have you in the big picture, then unfortunately yes, it could be time to walk.
I am happy to be in the backseat.... when I am in the front seat of my own life.
He is yours, yours to believe in. Understand. Empathize with. He is a GOOD man. He is working on the farm and taking care of his family including you, not running around town chasing ill pursuits.
HE at this point is in NEED of your understanding and support. Don't fill his cup up with anything that takes him away from his path or makes him feel bad. Create a home full of PEACE and COMFORT while he manages all that he is (which is more than we can imagine).
Life isn't all smiles, you are going through something... you are going through something together...something REAL.
WHAT CAN YOU DO TO HELP AND SUPPORT THIS BEAUTIFUL LIFE THAT YOU HAVE?
I mean practical things. Take some of the work load off of him, not with the intention of pleasing him but with the intention of fulfilling NEED, it will satisfy you. TRUTH and purpose will bring you the comfort you desire. Make the place look beautiful. Cleanliness supports positive energy and flow and he WILL appreciate it.
When he notices that you are on board WITH him, he will appreciate you for it.
Our lives change, situations change, this is a chapter in your life. You have the power of perspective, choice and attitude that will lead into the next chapter.
He thought you were his forever also maybe or he wouldn't have moved you in.
Because you are unable to take the strain of the caregiving he is needing to provide at the moment which is very exhausting....It is time for you to take accountability to HIM that this is too much for you....and find a way to move away because you can not "fake" love him...and you can not put more pressure on this guy to attend to your needs.
If he was forever...it would be for better or for worse, in sickness and in health (and that includes family health)...You can't cope with it....You need someone different...he is not your forever.
I feel bad for the both of you...but mainly for him