My ex asks me strange questions.....
I'm pregnant with my ex's baby. He left me for someone else so things weren't great but now were civil.
What's confusing me is that on two different occasions he has asked if I plan to have any more children. I asked him why and he claims he was just wondering but I feel theres more to it than that.
He has also started asking personal questions about the pregnancy like whether my boobs have got bigger.
Is it normal for him to ask me things like that? What's your take on it?
When they say that boys need mothers for wives they don’t mean that they need someone telling them what to do or to pick up after them, what all men need is someone to help draw out the best in them. Someone who will help guide their mind to where it should be….aligned with truth and what they need to feel in control of themselves in knowing what they should do….and free.
So, his mind is filled with all kinds of good and bad and egotistical and caring and based on his mind and his experiences ….conditioned things.
You guys need to make some real plans, plans for the future between the two of you, plans for the future with your child and plans on how you are going to communicate.
I'll get practical with you this weekend.
PS. Congradulations on your new mission in life!! To raise a soldier of truth and love.
I was thinking about that statement last night, ‘you’re on a mission to raise a soldier of truth and love’. Notice how it feels to say ‘I am having a baby’ compared to ‘I am on a mission to raise a soldier of truth and love.’ THAT is the power of definition. How can we get to where we want to be if we have not defined where we are going?
So, you and your TEAM MATE (your ex) have to make actual plans, like maps to guide you so that you can be the best INDIVIDUAL you can be, the best MOTHER you can be, the best FATHER he can be, and the best TEAM MATES you can be.
Right now you minds are bouncing between confusion (fear) and wonder (dreams). Focus on your needs and your dreams and don’t let them go to waste, record your ideas so that you can build them and live them.
Who has great vision? Professionals and Artists.
It’s time to build a new mind that is prepared to manage your new life.
I would create 2 SETS of binders one for myself and one for my ex. Be creative, you could put a picture of your sonogram on the front of them, these binders will be used to gather all of the information you need and all of the ideas you have relating to raising your child.
I would purchase number tabs for each age of my child’s life. This way I can gather information that I want and need to remember at each age. You could outline lessons you want to teach them from age to age. You will want to create a learning chart, do some research as to what is expected of a 2 year old to be able to do like being able to identify colors, being able to say certain words…
I would purchase A-Z tabs so that when you are inspired you can find a place in your binder to put different ideas.
I know that every June I think about graduations and I think about what I might say to my child on their graduation day, or the gift that I want to give them…. Those ideas would go under G for graduation.
On Valentines day or when you see a couple in love you might think of one of the many different definitions of LOVE. Or, you might be invited to a wedding and inspired to think about TRUST so you will think about how to help your child learn to build bridges safely. Make a note and then transfer them into your binders, L for love and T for TRUST.
B is for BATH, what do you want to say and sing and do at bath time for them to believe in?
Music and Movies ALWAYS inspire me to think of all kinds of wonderful and important ideas that support my life. YOU are the connection between your child and the world for many years, you have to make sure that your child’s gardens are seeded with the right ideas, so that the right ideas grow, helping them be warm and protected, PREPARED FOR LIFE. Music and film need to be relied on to help you raise your child. I would start making charts listing pieces of art that will support their heart and freedom.
At the different ages and seasons I would dream of detailed kinds of décor in their bedroom and in the house that supports their belief system.
By the age of 10 I will have wanted them to have learned through my behaviours and energy how to behave in different situations.
This topic is not something that I can fully explain in a letter, but I hope that it is enough to inspire you to just GOOOOO with it and find ENDLESS IDEAS to gather……and build your lives.
Just a few other thoughts to get you started…
Watch films like ‘Knocked Up’, ‘What to expect when you are expecting’, ‘The Back Up Plan’… and any other movies that reflect your situation. When you watch these movies, it is important that you focus your mind towards one question, “WHAT ARE THE PRODUCERS TRYING TO TEACH US”
Do research and gather the information you need. What to do when they have a fever, what do I want to feed them, the best preschool for them, burping techniques, how to put them to sleep, …. GATHER THE INFORMATION THAT WILL SUPPORT YOU AND YOUR CURRENT AND FUTURE NEEDS.
What products do you want to use and what do you want to avoid?
Its important that you understand that you and your ex are linked together forever. Imagine the two of you sitting together in harmony at your child’s graduations and wedding, or imagine yourselves in conflict, tired and taken away from being able to truly celebrate your child.
What this means is that you are going to control what you SAY and what you DO, even when he is not you have to be respectful, patient, and caring… ALWAYS. My key to patience is understanding that everyone is going through something and we all come from different worlds of thoughts and experiences. Stay true to who YOU are (patient and kind and good) and help him feel peace with space and effective communication.
That is another puzzle page I would create under C, COMMUNICATION. Gathering ideas on how to communicate effectively and work as a team. If you read that list before sitting down to meet instead of feeling all of the effects of a busy stressful week you will have a better chance to stay on track and be a reflection of your true self.
You might want to create a tab just for the baby’s BIRTHDAY, so that you can gather a list of the things that you need to remember. You might want to choose what you want to say to your child the first time you hold them. Make notes!! We are all spiritual beings and your baby is pure and connected to your thoughts and intentions.
This is not about micro-managing, you want your child to grow up NATURALLY. This is about creating your own track and supporting your dreams. But we can’t be on track if we don’t have one.
You and your team mate will have your own set of binders and meet once a week to share what you have gathered on your own so that you can share your thoughts and ideas with the other. You will think about different things, together you will cover a lot of ground!
It should be a FUN and WONDERFUL experience, make it so.
WE ARE ALL SPIRITUAL BEINGS
IT’S IMPORTANT THAT WE BE TRUE
CONNECTING INTENTION/THOUGHT, WORD AND ACTION
AND…… IT IS A LOT EASIER TO TAKE OUR TIME TO BUILD SOMETHING THAN TO FIX IT.
This guy, who now treats you "civilly ", seems immature and clueless about women. Is he capable of being a father?
When someone asks a stupid question, it's OK to ask, "Why do you want to know?"
It just seems strange to me as he left me for another woman who he lives with so I dont see why he would ask that if I am no longer important in his life besides the fact I'm the mother to his child. Since being with her he seems more depressed and is seeking counselling so I dont know if hes regretting his decision or whether there a motive to it.