Is he losing interest or scared?
Ignore any grammar errors as I use voice to text: I met this amazing guy on Facebook dating literally my dream guy. I think I’m seriously falling for him it’s been three months since we started talking and have been seeing each other exclusively for two and a half months. We talked for a week via text before we had our first phone conversation on a Friday which was 3 hours. He had said he hated talking on the phone and time flies when he talks to me he left for a weekend bike trip the next day called me on his way and on his way back that Sunday. That weekend we talked a total of 8 hours. That Monday we went on a date to go hiking and dinner. We ended up talking for two hours by a river before we realized it was dark hiked back to his car in the dark then went to dinner then he took me home hugged me and left. I texted him that night saying I wanted to see him again and I had a great time and he said he did too but he wanted to take things slow and that he’s gun shy of new relationships. He left for Colorado with his sister the next day ( a Tuesday). Texted me every hour flirty texts about how much he likes me and he can’t believe I’m real and saying he even misses me these texts were full of cute gifs hearty emojis. He gets back the following Monday and we went on another hike date then went back to my house to watch a movie. We were both super awkward at first but had a few drinks stayed up until 3 am talking which eventually lead to making out and intimacy. The next day we did it again and he said well so much for taking it slow. He even asked me what I thought love was on this date. We spent the day together again that Thursday and Friday. And after that every two days before the end of the month when he left for a hiking trip for 8 days in Michigan. I just so happened to be going to Michigan the same time so we made plans to meet at my sisters where he met her and her boyfriend. We drove back together and since this he slowed way down stopped flirting with me so much barely texts me but always sees me atleast once a week. I was starting to think he didn’t like me but then he invited me to meet his parents. He helped me paint my kitchen which was a 5 day project. Invited me to go on a family trip in December, He always kisses me when he sees me and leaves but he’s not as cuddly with me when we’re together but he does put his arm around me and such but only once or twice in the evening. If he stays over he sleeps in his underwear but doesn’t try to be intimate with me or even cuddle at all. It’s coming up on 3 months since our first date and I’m so confused we hang out once or twice a week as of lately it’s been once a week. I always make the plans which is usually me offering to make dinner. I’m worried he’s lost interest but his actions are so confusing I’m scared if I say anything I’ll push him away or scare him off. I read a zillion articles and I think he might be scared and pulled himself back he told me he’s scared of getting hurt on our second date. We both were in very long relationships mine 7 years his was 11 and this would be the first one for both of us though his was longer and he was cheated on and hurt badly. Do you think he’s scared should I talk to him or just let him have his space? All my friends say give him space and he will open up but I don’t get why he was so emotionally open and now he’s not. I’m so confused.
When I want to understand WHAT HAS HAPPENED/HAPPENING?! I look at what is on the table.
Look back to your conversations,
What have you been talking about?
How can it be interpreted?
Could he be worried about what he has said and how it is all being interpreted?
Can you be more concise, and clear in the future so that you don’t have to worry about interpretation?
Men and women think differently. Men think one thing at a time trying to move forward, whereas women can think lots of things at once and go in all different kinds of circles and patterns. Men are more focused, they are always trying to build something, an idea, direction as to what to say and do, chosen action.
As a woman, I want to make that process EASIER for my love, not more difficult.
Be yourself, let him connect to who you are and what you are all about…. so that he can process what he needs to decide how he feels.
Similarly, you need to connect to who HE is and what he is all about, so that you can process what you need and how you feel.
Do you know what you need in a partner?
Do you know what you have to offer a partner?
Those are two questions that you should spend some time defining, collecting your thoughts and ideas on, gathering ideas from music and film and books…..
Have fun…. open your mind and dream. How you define life… are tracks that get you there.