Why am I having issues with my mother?
My mom behaves in a very odd manner about things which are actually not such a big deal. Before I begin, my mom is a single mom and I am the eldest of 3 siblings (this should give some perspective to my question) I am 22, in my last semester of college and my mom still dictates that she wants me in bed by a certain time. My mom asks me to wake up early however I have tried and it is so very difficult for me to wake up that early for her, and for this reason I have also scheduled my classes later in the day so I have time in the mornings to wake up and not feel rushed. I study or perform better later in the day.
I am also trying studying for my graduate school exams and she keeps asking me to wake up early, study and then go about my day and I am scared to tell her that her was will cause me failure and if I try to do things my way, I am scared she won’t approve and then I will feel upset for making my mom unhappy.
We live in a one story apartment and all I do is sit in the living room and try to study and complete my assignments once she goes to bed with my siblings because I am unable to finish my work during the day. In my culture, it is not looked well upon for children to move out and so I would never think about moving out (since I know a lot of people my age would move out as an answer to this problem) however it really upsets me when my mother takes matters like these and makes it into a big deal. I do not handle stress well and well, my mom does not want me sitting outside in the living room and studying and she makes the situation very tense.
I respect and love my mother very much however she just does not understand my preferences, my work/class schedule and the reasons behind the decisions I make. I am a person who needs my mother to be happy with me and understand me however I feel as if my mother will never understand me for who I am? Am I wrong to be overreacting to something like this or does every mom behave like my mom does with her 22 year old child.
It’s very difficult to live with someone who is not on the same time schedule as you are. I once went on vacation with a girl who was a night person. I was ready to go to bed at 11 PM and she wanted to just start partying. Then early in the morning I wanted to walk on the beach and she wanted to sleep in until noon. It was the worst vacation I ever went on.
So I understand the conflict that you and your mother have. You must explain to her what you’r biological sleep clock is like. You are a late riser and you like to stay up at night when it’s quiet so you can get your studying done. She must respect that. Plus you must respect her during her daytime hours to make sure you are not in the way or causing conflict in a house that has been up already for about five hours. It comes down to personalities and personal time clocks. Mutual respect is needed here. Is that something you can talk out with your mother?