Love, that's not meant to be
I fell in love with my brother's girlfriend after trying to save her from the toxic atmosphere that he has trapped her in. They are constantly fighting, to the point it get violent, and she has become suicidal on more than one occasion and I've done my absolute best to just be a friend. I don't want to ruin my relationship with him or my friendship with her and I would appreciate any advice I can get.
You don’t mention how she feels.
Be realistic about this: she is a wounded bird and you want to rescue her. The fact that she stays with your brother in an abusive relationship which probably depresses her says something about her ability to take care of herself and set healthy limits.
So maybe that’s why you have this urge to rush in and rescue her.
Try to distance yourself from this whole scene. There is a heartache ahead for you and just so many levels.
Its is very common for friends to fall for their friends partners. It is because there is so much respect and care between you. When three are together, two will look at the one in the middle with the same thoughts and feelings, thinking and seeing the same truths. That is where the magic in world comes from, truth and love connecting. There is too much energy between your brother and the girl for them to see truth so they react.
I think that you should stay friends, don’t pursue a relationship, neither of you will feel free at this point. Stay friends, when she has moved on with her life and these issues with your brother are long behind you…. then you can pursue a relationship based on the connection between the two of you.
You already know that it feels icky. If you support her as a friend and wait until she has healed you will feel like a prince… and she will see the prince that you are.
Love is love, love her. Its in your heart to give.
Do what you do because it is in your heart to do. I don’t get to hold my true love, but he is a part of everything I say and do. I can’t stop myself from loving him. I am a better person for it. I am comforted by it. I AM TRUE TO MYSELF. I love him, so I love him. (but we don’t kiss… except via teddy bear)
I am very close with my female first cousin, we consider ourselves more as brother and sister than cousins.
20 years ago her husband was having an affair and egged on by my aunt, I supported her.
Then 3 months later they kissed and made up and ever since her husband has held a grudge against me and I`m no longer welcome in their home. They are still together today.
After that I made a pact with myself that never again will I become involved in other people`s domestic dramas, because once they make up you`re the one who will be considered a trouble maker for sticking your nose in or if they do break up you may become the scapegoat as the cause of their break up.
Best to not become involved and let them get on with it, regardless whether they be family members or friends.
Trust me on this one, I speak from experience.
I retract my post.
Sometimes we speak and the truth that lives inside of us gives us the sense that something you’ve said is not exactly true.
We are supposed to change course until we can feel what we are saying and doing is true.