I was recently talking to my husband about our joint life insurance and he said, 3 years ago he was thinking of changing it so I would only get £1. he said at the time I had really been going on at him and it crossed his mind for a few seconds then went out of his mind. he said he would wonder what the look on my face would be like. he said I would only give our children £25 each and i would keep the rest.I was very upset at hearing this and have been crying over what he said as we do not own our own house nor do we have any savings to leave our 3 grown up children so are relying on the life insurance. he said he would never do this and was joking that he would only leave me £1. if one of us dies the payout is £1OO.OOO to me or him. he said it would be upto me what i do with it so I can pay the rent for a few years to keep me going as the children all have jobs and live away from home. I do not work at the moment but looking.he had his prostrate taken out 4 years ago and he always says I would be partying when hes gone.
I would make sure our kids got £25.OOO each and I would never keep it all to myself. I am the one who always says to buy our children little gifts when we see them never him and I am not selfish in anyway and not been a bad mother. I feel really hurt that he even thought that I would keep it all and now he keeps saying he was joking but its caused all kinds of stress to me and we have been arguing constantly since he came out with it. To even think that it crossed his mind when I have been his wife of 24 years together 28 and had children to him and been here after his prostrate taken out that he would leave me with just a £1. I have no family to fall back on and no savings and now I see I should of stood on my own more and saved up instead of relying on him all these years so it scares me to think I could have nothing.
he said he cannot change the policy as it is in both our names and I would of got to found out about it if he tried to change it. I told him to put it into trust for our children so he will see that they get there money and I don't want any at all from him.it would mean we both sign the form to change it to this and he said he will not do it as he wants me to have the money.
I feel so different towards him now and we are sleeping separate. I am hurting so much because even thou he said he would not go through with it the thought that it even entered his head I cant forget. he said whats wrong with having a little joke and he just would not go through with it and thinks im blowing it all out of proportion. Am I?
Can I take life insurance out on him so I don't feel I have to depend on him anymore and his money if he does pass away before me?
Please Advise asp
It’s too bad that you two are arguing about an issue that is about one of you dying.
A good estate lawyer can help you sort this out.
But the “ real” issues are not being discussed: you feeling disrespected and not being taken care of, and his feelings that he’s being used. Have a good discussion on how you both feel.