My wife finds me unattractive because I’m a loner. Should I dump her?
I always been a bit of a loner and I always been the type to have only a few trustworthy friends around me. Over the years I either fell out with some of this friends because they let me down and disappointed me for various reasons or just because we have less contact with each other because we spent a lot of time with family and work.
My wife recently told me that she finds loners like myself unattractive. I replied to her that I find people that beg for friendships and that rate people based on their popularity also unattractive.
I stopped talking to some of my friends because they were jealous, petty, and had massive egos. Every time I stopped talking with this people my wife always plays the devil advocate and starts to make excuses for their behaviour, because she’s too desperate for me to keep these friendships and not end up without any friends.
Now I’m at the stage when I’m questioning if I still want to be with my wife because her lack of pride and shallowness is putting me off.
Your wife should accept you for you are and respect your opinions but you need to sort out if you love her and have the need to be with her rather than judge her for her outlook on life. She's entitled to her opinions just as you are, but if they clash constantly, then you guys need to use communication to help you sort it and determine the best outcome for both of you. There will be other underlying issues which you need to look at as well and if she doesn't share your values and standards and vice versa, then you may need to step away to help you determine what you want and need to be happy.
OK the very first part of your column states that you have always been a loner... this may have always been your choice or may not have been... Number 1... there’s something wrong with everyone no one is perfect.... True no one wants to be friends with someone you cannot trust, but you kind of have to weigh your options decide which battle to fight... kind of sounds like you point blame first before you sort out the facts.... next time ask yourself whatever predicament it is whatever that friend has said done or plans on doing ask yourself.... is this going to affect my life all whatsoever... and if it doesn’t stop worrying about what someone else does or says... yes people need to earn other peoples trust, so at any beginning of a friendship, don’t tell them intimate secretive details about your life...make them earn your friendship...as time goes you will learn exactly what you can I trust with this person... and as for your wife she seems like the negotiator and someone you definitely need in your life