Go back to ex or not
I was divorced over 16 years ago with no kids after being married for almost 7 years. Since then, I have an ex-girlfriend I've known over 15 years, call her Woman A. Woman A and I have seen each other on and off since and have both had other relationships. One of those relationships, call her Woman B, went on for around three years on and off, and broke off around 2 years ago. Woman B had contacted me since, within the past two years, with an interest in resuming the relationship but I haven't pursued that opportunity. As recently as this past spring 2020, I started seeing woman A again. It broke off after around 5 months with woman A. After that, I went back to seeing another woman, call her Woman C, who I've seen on and off for up to 10 years, intermittently. I enjoy her company but I would say there is not much emotional attachment in her case. Woman C and I have discussed this fact up front. She has expressed interest in developing a stable long term relationship but I have not pursued that opportunity so far. I'm still nostalgic for both woman A and woman B, esp. woman A who I've known for a long time.
In all cases, the relationships broke off because of my unwillingness to make a big commitment, due to my concerns about whether it would work out for the long term.
I did not intend to get into an emotional entanglement with multiple women but it came about by moving from relationship to relationship while still having lingering feelings for the previous one. Maybe some would judge me for that, which is fine but I'm just dealing with the present at the moment. I would like to stabilize my relationships but I'm not clear with myself on which road to take toward that goal.
My options are:
1. Keep seeing woman C. At least we have fun and there's no pressure/stress. Perhaps it could develop into a long term relationship, or maybe not. I don't feel that way currently.
2. Stop seeing woman C and try to re-initiate relationship with either woman A or B. I(But I'm torn between which one.)
3. Stop seeing woman C and don't go back to woman A or B. Find someone new.
4. Refrain from seeing any woman for awhile. Honestly this one may not be realistic. I enjoy female company.
It doesn't matter that you can't sort of can't make up your mind because if any of these woman ticked all the boxes, you'd be with her. While you keep all of them in your life, and attempt to analyze them, you'll be forever confused and doubtful. When the right woman comes along, you'll know it and it won't matter what she looks like or how she stacks up against the others, including your ex wife, she will be the one for you.
Follow your gut instinct but don't get bogged down with comparing partners. It's impossible to move forward from one relationship unless you're 100% over it without looking back over your shoulder. You need to learn from your past rather than try and live in it.
Thank you for the reply.
Honestly, it seems like you don't have any real interest in pursing a long term relationship with any of them.
You *claim* you're nostalgic for A and B but...you broke it off because you didn't want to commit. What's the difference now, other than that you're sad that they're gone?
And what's going to be different about C? She wants something long term and you're not interested. So keep at it and enjoy it for now, then realize she's going to end it when it's obvious you're unwilling to commit (and pining after someone else).
Therapy might be called for, esp. as to why you only consider a relationship with someone after she's like, "Nah, I want something long term, so if you're not willing to give it to me, I'm outta here."
Thank you for the reply.