Do I give the support or leave
Hi I've posted a cpl of times before..honestly because I have no one to talk.
My bf and I have had a bad sex life the last year not me him he's too tired not in the mood etc then September I caught him masturbating
I didn't say at time then asked told me it was only a cpl times since been together tried to move on the happened again so I went away for a break without him so we could see if we missed each other then he left me few weeks later said lost the attraction to me but still loved me then came back the following week...I initially allowed him as lent him my savings and wanted money back.
Truth is I actually love him.
Anyway promised that he wasn't on porn sites as the week he left admitted was addicted to porn sites.
So 3 weeks ago today came down stairs at 1 30am to find him at it again cock in hand told him had enough. After talking he promised no more said he was in the habit of spending 20 every now and again on a certain website.
Told him trust gone and he now has to work at it. Since the he has promised not on sites although amazingly his Web history is deleted.
Through snooping which I admit to and honestly I'm not ashamed of because of all the lies found out basically was on this site a live porn site with Web chat virtually every night paying and buying tokens up to 100 a month
when I went away from when I left the house to getting home he was on the site even when I called he was in his private shows. Private messaging, private shows so I've read everything. Telling these girls lovely bodies and want to go private to get really naughty
the other day i was boiling up...even snapchat girls!!! Wtaf!
Premium sites his twitter is full of following pages of porn girls and Instagram is basically just girls.
Well he said goodnight bby to me the other night my blood boiled and I felt sick...I'm not one of the girls he is paying with his broke ass. Told him don't call me bby rather than an argument I said I didn't like it but it played on my mind all night.
So nxt morning I asked did he ever message privately to the girls he said no so I said u really want to say no...he insisted so said want me to show you? I basically said what his messages said he looked shocked I said about the fact 20 every now and again was more like 100 plus.
So now everything is in the open I don't know how to trust him he plays games on his phone constantly now like a distraction but like I said everything is deleted. If he really is an addict then surely he would be missing it.
By the way this has been going on ALL throughout our relationship. Including subscriptions to other premium sites and snapchat girls.
I honestly don't know what to do.
I've lost all my self asteem I've had to put on weight for an operation I don't know when its happening now so hate myself let alone recalling his words to affirm he no longer finds me attractive.
He has brought me an eternity ring for Xmas he thinks I don't know I don't really want it as I don't know if I'm being stupid in thinking things won't change.
I'm not terribly experienced with relationships, but this sounds like a really toxic situation. You have to ask yourself, is this relationship doing any good for you, or for him? He doesn't se loyal at all, and if your self esteem is being lowered then you might need to take at least a break just to focus on and take care of yourself.
You should walk away from this relationship. While almost all men masturbate at some point, that should not effect his desire for actual sex. If he is choosing to masturbate to porn, rather than have sex with you, then his habit has turned into an addiction.
This is something that he is going to have to either get over on his own, or seek professional help with. You staying with him is only going to encourage this behavior, as there will be no downside to him. You will be enabling him. So, it is time to walk away.
The main reason for masturbation is he has nothing else to do in his life . Masturbation almost zeroes your productivity level and after jerking off you feel tired and you are not interested in anything else . Basically a person jerks off by seeing two people having sex with each other.It's more off an third person experience your boyfriend enjoys instead of first person experience with you . This is why your relationship is not working and your boyfriend's productivity has been damaged .