Should I pull my child out of school and quit my job to move back home
I am 28 (almost 29) and I have the most beautiful 5 year old girl. I have been with the man I thought I loved for about 4 years now. It was so great at first, we gradually got to know each other and eventually around almost 2 years moved in together (with my daughter). As we pretty much lived together, he stayed with me in an apartment and I paid all of the bills. He would ask me for $50 here and there (granted he made about 80k and I made about 11k at the time). He at first would play with DD and they had fun together. She loves him and his son whom comes over occasionally (his mother chooses the schedule and he goes along with it).
We eventually moved into a rented house, we had originally agreed I pay $400 a month (and now he pays all of the bills) I pay about 400 in groceries and all of the household needs as in cleaners, toiletries etc. My income now is roughly 23k. I have my daughter in a Christian private school (I know I could put her in a public school) but I want my DD to have a Christian based school as well as at home.
The first week we moved into the house (I have not even had a chance to pay him anything) we argued about something and told DD and I to find somewhere else to stay. He drinks a lot. I mean he has to have that beer by 530pm. It wasn’t like that at first until the last couple years (that I saw anyway). I was giving him money at first and then while I was contributing he would still threaten me when we fight! He would tell us to leave Or he would hold over our heads that his name was on everything. So finally DD and I ended up going to a hotel for a night and then he stopped telling us to get out as much. I know I’m not a pleasure to be around a lot of the time (I do have anxiety and depression)
So then I stop paying him anything at this point. He then starts holding it over my head bc I don’t pay anything!!! I can’t afford anything right now!!! He ended up getting a car in his name for me bc mine wouldn’t start anymore and now he threatens to take it from us!!! I pay that damn payment every month!!! And he at still holds it over my head!!! If I’m going to get kicked out or lose my car then by god it’s going to be bc of something I truly did wrong bc damn!!! Even when I’m trying to pay him and do extra it’s still held over my head!!!!
He then starts to get mad about sex, bc I don’t want to do it anymore. I can’t. I feel like I’m betraying my body at this point. He has gotten so mad bc I wouldn’t have sex he kicked me and left a bruise. That is the only time he has left a mark on me. Now he barely even speaks to DD. He only speaks to her if it’s to clean up or to do something he demands. I’ve tried talking to him about this but he just says she is a “smartass” to him. (Maybe she sees the way he acts).
What I’m getting at is, I cannot afford to live in the city I am in, on my own. I am trying to get back in school but that is another story. I have help with my family (whom Mike wants to pay a portion of the bills) but I cannot ask them to help put DD and I up where we live. I have a good job at the moment. Company pays 100% of my insurance and decent pay (of course it isn’t great) and they are so lenient When I have to take off bc of DD. DD is in a GREAT school and she absolutely loves it and her teacher. Idk what to do??? Should I pull her out of school and me quit my job back home? Or should I stay with him? I feel like we could work out, I just want him to understand more. I truly cannot afford much at all with what I have going on. I know I am Probably wrong in some of this, I just need some advice please. Thank you
I would also like to add there is a 14 year age gap between us. I just don’t know if I should put up with the way he has been acting or move back home (3 hours away)
He is emotionally, mentally, and physically abusing you. How much more encouragement to leave, do you need?
This will not improve. Quit job, move home. You are traumatizing your daughter with this situation.