Let's be friends first
So I met this guy online(he started the conversation first) and it almost three weeks since we started talking. Two days ago I asked him what exactly is he looking for, and he told me: “ Honestly I’m just looking to make new friends and see where that goes.. i dont believe in just jumping into a relationship and expecting it to be something serious. I feel like every couple needs to be friends first and then have the relationship sort of evolve on its own.” What exactly do you think he meant about that? What do you think I should do?
I've personally never met a single guy that was ok with being just friends with a single girl lol.
Hi there. I have to say I find this refreshing. There are a decent percentage of people that don't experience attraction and romantic interest the way we think of as "normal". I myself am demisexual and don't experience physical attraction unless I feel emotionally connected. In my experience, someone asking for this process is thinking more about the long term possibilities and wants a solid foundation to build on.
I know it may feel like a slight in some way but I see it as the opposite. This is a clear signal that he likes and respects you and wants to make sure you know he's interested in something more than *just* physical attraction with you. It's up to you to decide if you want to invest the time and energy to increase your overall intimacy with this person. Just keep being true to yourself and when something confuses you, talk to him about it. Don't assume you should take something personally; let him know when you're not sure what he means and ask him to explain it in a way that makes sense to you. Whatever you decide, it will be a more informed decision. We all have different attachment styles and it's good he's being transparent about his needs. Either you can find a pace that works for both of you or you'll move on.
Build your will to stand up against the world that wants what it wants.
What do you want?
If you just go with the flow thinking you like this guy and you want him to like you.... you will be believing in him. If you guys have an intimate evening and flow into the possibility of having sex, you will.
If you decide that you want to be his friend and you have a clear definition and list of what friends do and do not do, you will be believing in yourself. If you guys have an intimate evening and flow into the possibility of having sex, you will stop and say HEY! This changes the definition of friendship....
So, just to be clear...
You want to get some paper and make lists gathering your thoughts.
WHAT DO I WANT BETWEEN US?
WHAT IS FRIENDSHIP?
WHAT DO FRIENDS TALK ABOUT AND DO TOGETHER?
WHAT SHOULD LOVE FEEL LIKE, WHAT IS LOVE, WHAT IS A RELATIONSHIP....?
WHAT DO I BELIEVE IN? WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO ME? (outside of relationships)
.... there are lots of other things worth defining and building our will towards.....