Am I really a bad person?
Long story but i need someone elses view on my situation. I struggle to deal with issues and confrontation and its causing more arguements than needed.
I was in a long term relationship of 8 years which majority of this was mentally torturing but i felt trapped. Despite everyones plea that shes was changing who i was. effecting me as a person. I stayed because i thought she was the one! Fast forward and i somehow saw sense and ended the relationship and moved home.
As a recovery i came to point where a friendship with a girl turned alittle morefor 3 months. Things got too much and as i felt nothing i ended it all as its unfair on her. I joined things like Tinder but rarely used it
Months later i feel im recovering myself and suddenly i met this amazing woman who blew my mind away. We saw eachother frequently and connect! When asked about my past. I hated it and just gave quick sna answers without thinking. such as - when did you leave your ex - I said it was like 2 years. Hindsight i should said it was 1 year. When asked about the casual thing i had. i said she was just a friend. I should have said it was a little more but didnt thik it mattered, I was caught up with wanting to know this new girl so much.
Few months later. She sees my emails and decides to go through them all. This is where there issues lie.
She saw an email to ex regarding money being paid back and states we ended a year ago. She sees tinder emailing to remind me to verify. an email from the casual thing before we met.
This led her to believe i have lied and therefore cheated. I tried to explain i was wrong and just said 2 years before the whole thing was torture. I didnt tell about the casual thing before it felt nothing relevant to me.
As for tinder. I explained i deleted the app when i met her but didnt think i needed to go into the app settings first.
I dont know how to handle this
Why is she going through your emails?
What you did before you became exclusive to this relationship is none of her business as long as you were free and capable of going into a new relationship and so started up with her.
If she keeps going back to before You two were an item, that is a red flag you should take warning of.
I left it logged in on her laptop after using it for work.
I thought the same but i guess my mind is still messed up and i thought it was normal thing?
I have tried to give understanding and tell her that i never things like the previous relationship ended a year ago and not 2 years. and that i was wrong for that.
I even said the thing i had with the girl between ending last relationship and meeting her was nothing meaningful and i ended it before i even met her. but apparantly not telling her the truth is me lying?
I just don't know what to do. She has been treated badly in the past but I only have the best interests with her but more she snaps back to these things the more im beginning to feel i actually am a bad person?
I feel i have done nothing but be udnerstanding but i cant handle going back and forth anymore.
I get I should have told her correct dates/times but is it really a massive issue? I have done nothing but be the best i can since meeting her.
She says anyone would react the way she has but im unsure now
She had no reason not to trust you. She violated your privacy on a whim. Move on.
Regardless of your past and what's been said and done, this woman has no right to read your emails for whatever reason. It should be a warning to you what she's really like, no matter how amazing she is.