Am I wrong for being upset?
I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now. We have both been previously married and we both have 2 grown children. I really care for him and want to share our lives together. We moved in together after a year of being together. He has met my kids and my family now over a year ago but I have not met his.
This is were my issue is. His kids who are 23 and 19 as well as his mom do not no I even exist. He has not even mentioned to them that he has a girlfriend. He says he doesn't want to upset them and that it's not a big deal and it doesn't matter.
Well it matters to me I feel like he's hiding me. So am I wrong for being upset. I could really use a feedback on how I should handle this. Ease and thank you
You have a right to be upset. The goal of all intimate relationships is to be able to share your lives with each other....completely.
If he isn't even willing to let his family know that he is dating you, then it sounds like he isn't taking this relationship seriously.
You have 4 courses of action.
1. Ignore it and hope you get over it
2. Talk to him and hope it improves
3. Contact his family behind his back (could be bad)
4. Leave him and move on
You need to be with a man who's proud to have you by his side and a man who respects you. You need to have a serious conversation with him to help you to understand why it doesn't matter to him why you haven't met his family after being together for 2 years.
You should’ve met his children before you moved in with him. His reluctance to show his children that he has moved on and created another life for himself is troublesome.
Have you talk to him about this issue?Don’t think it’s because he’s ashamed of you. This family may be very dysfunctional and he may be worried about their reaction to you in front of you. Perhaps he feels the children are protecting their mother.
But it’s really important that you talk this out with him. He needs to explain why he has not introduced you to his children.
Yes he does think that the children are protecting their mother, but I at least should be td I exist. He should tell them and his mother that he had a girlfriend. If my Father waited 2 years to tell me he was seeing someone I would be upset with him gor waiting so long . I just don't understand what the problem is
He should tell his children that he has been dating and has met someone special. No need to use the word “girlfriend.”
Does he have a private relationship with these kids meaning that he takes them out for dinner or spend some private time with them? Maybe he’s never had the opportunity to have a real serious talk with the kids about what he is doing with his life. If the mother is sick or very vulnerable everyone is walking on egg shells to protect her, especially the children.
What about you and him socially? Are you meeting his friends and he is taking you out in public? If not then he is not ready to move on with his life and you will be forever regulated to be in the background.
You might want to go to couples therapy to work this out.