Is it doomed
I have been seeing my boyfriend for a year and I love him desperately. Over the last couple of months he has become very low (pandemic and all that) he frequently shuts himself away which I can’t stand! On a couple of occasions he has been aggressive during arguments and admits to being an alcoholic.
What do I do? My heart says help him but my head is telling me that I could get seriously hurt. He lets me down frequently in terms of not showing up, changing his mind about plans etc
But I love him so much.
What do I do?
This may man may have a drinking problem and it is just revealing itself because of the pandemic.
One year is not a very long time but it gives you opportunity to see him in different situations.
Be sure you don’t have “pity love” for him. Or you are in the role of the caretaker to him. This kind of relationship will exhaust you.
Sounds to me like he is suffering from depression from being cooped up. He could use some therapy or a good friend to help, preferably someone that could handle him in a physical confrontation.
Yes that’s certainly not me. He’s a lot bigger and does Brazilian fighting. He is surrounded my friends but finds it hard to open up. He hasADD too so staying on track conversationally is hard for him.
Thank you for replying
Men think with focus on one thing at a time.
Women can think about multiple things at once.
Men drink to allow them to get off the track that they are on, free to move on and off other tracks with more ease.
If we all understood this fact we would be able to take what might be considered as medicinal treatment on more rare occasions and protect ourselves from addiction. We would also work harder to find other ways to change our tracks.
What are some other ways we can change the tracks of our mind?
Changing our experience.
Getting up and going for a swim. Going for a walk. Engaging with friends. Working on projects. Watching a film. Connecting to a CD. ...
There are all kinds of ways we can change our train of thought.
I just read your response to AKA..
Read what I wrote to 'DOES HE LOVE ME OR HATE ME'
There is a project described there that will help him with his ADD.
Instead of working with a library of thoughts, he can create his own book.
Instead of swimming in the ocean, he can swim in his own pond.
We all need to build our own home, our own mind. When we do it in front of ourselves and on paper.... we have control over ourselves.
I am not the original poster, luvbirdsoldier
I know AKA, I replied to the original post and then noticed that Georgie had more to say in response to you... so I had thoughts to add based on the new information provided.