Husband hates my country and hates to live here
Firstly, I’m from Scandinavia, so English is not my mother tongue..therefore I apologize for all my mistakes🙃
Husband and I have been together for 6 years. He's 33 y/I and I’m 36.
We met in his country as I was on vacation. We visited each other pretty much every month (both students at that time, so it allowed us to live like that/to do so.
Anyway, around 1.5 years after we decided to move to my country. I live in Scandinavia. We did so as I am extremely attached to my family. Approximately 1 year later I got (planned) pregnant. And 2 years after that, we had another (planned) pregnancy.
We are now parents of two children.
Anyway, to make a very long story short, my husband still, after all these years, don’t find himself in my country. He doesn’t like it here at all. Hates the language (he severel times tried to learn it-no succes)
Hates the cold. Hates the living. The vibes. Don’t have friends. Can’t find himself a job. Which is super hard for me ashes been getting rejections so many times, and have a major obstacle against himself; that he doesn’t speak the language., along with not having the right educational background.
He has always been a man of high ambitions. Big dreams. He is not from North America (Canada-Montreal) but has been living there and working there for many years and he was loving it. Now holds a Canadian citizenship and our children also became citizens - you can apply for such thing if one of your parents are a citizen) He feels like that’s home to him. He loves the mentality. The competitive (in regards to business) life, the people there. Litterly everything about it. The fact that he is certain that he can (or will at least work towards that) to give us a much better life, which means more money and a bigger home. (Right now here in my home country we live in a 1 bedroom and 1 living room apartment with our two children) It’s not optimal but it’s located right in the city center and super cheap.
Anyway. Husband really don’t like it here. He seems depressed. He has lost his ambitions completely. He is living a mediocre life. He hates it. He’s here because we have children now.
I am so torn. On one hand this is where I want to be. Next to my family. The love that my children shares with their grandparents and cousins are priceless. And also, I love being close to my family. It’s very important to me.
He understands all of this. And respects it. But he says “it is wgat it it, this is where we’ll live” with a face like someone who gave up on their own life and dreams. It’s super hard for me too. Hard to always feel like my days here with my parents and siblings “are counted”, cause it can’t continue this way; living with a miserable husband.
What should I do??
Please ask any further questions of you have some. Had to make it short due to the kids waking up☺️
Honestly, I can't tell you what you should do here. You seem to have a firm grasp of the situation and you see all the angles. You are going to have to decide what is more important to you.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read my post and to respond. And yes...that’s the million dollar question 😢
How is he so sure that he can make it big time in Canada?
Perhaps he could go there for six months and prove what he believes.
I personally feel that the children should be considered in the areas of economic upgrade and school opportunities. That may mean moving for you If what your husband says is true.
This is a tough decision to make but you don’t sound like you trust your husband. Allow him to prove himself. If it’s possible, give him the time and space to find out if he can make it in Canada.
If somehow he really can prove this to you, the family can always visit your homeland and vacation time if your husband makes more money.