I was with my girlfriend for 3 years,back in may last year and after talking to her ex girlfriend she walked out. 4 weeks later she came back and we were working out our problems. I had issues with nagging and moaning. We were back together for 5 months,still i was trying to work on my issues. I was a lot better than i was but not perfect. My girlfriends dog died and she told her ex because they originally got the dog when they were together. 1 week after that my girlfriend walked again and again went back to her ex. This was 9 weeks ago. The relationship they had 9 years ago was violent and my girlfriend attempted suicide. Her family blamed her ex and told my girlfriend if she went back with her they would disown her,including her 2 sons. One son has taken it bad and no longer talks to his mum. My girlfriends parents don't know and would be devastated. Her ex lives 3 hours away and she told me and her son she has no intention of moving back to Milton Keynes where her ex lives. Me and my girlfriend had 8 weeks of abuse to each other and now i have decided to do the no contact thing,we not communicated for a week so far. What i don't understand is a day before the break up she says she loves me and i had no idea she was unhappy (well she said she was) Thing is i heard all the same stuff back in May and she said she did love me and just lied about not.I admit this time has been a lot more abusive between us,but last time we communicated it was kind of amicable.I love her so much and don't want to let go. I really cannot see her relationship with her ex working as there is so much against them,neither will probably move,the family,the part time love etc.I was advised to do the no contact for 3-4 weeks,it is killing me but feel that this be my last option. We didn't have a bad life together. To me everytime something happens she runs back to her ex. This time i am not sure if it will be final between us. I really could do with some advice with what to do. I love her more than anyone and finding it hard to function. Should i reach out to her after 3-4 weeks? At the moment all social media and number has been blocked,only way to communicate is via email. Please advice. I do believe she loves me but maybe at the moment not in love
You need to realise that your GF isn't over her ex and that you're doing your head and your heart in trying to be with her until she is, if ever. It doesn't matter that her family will disown her and that one of her sons has taken it bad, what does matter is that after all your efforts to reconcile, you're being hurt, again.
There's not much you can do while she strings you along with words and actions which basically belittle you and make your relationship with her irrelevant. If she did love you, she would be leaning on you for support when things get tough, regardless of your issues, instead of looking back over her shoulder. A true relationship is about sharing and commitment as well as having love and respect for each other.
Sure, it's not easy going no contact and our words of advice are easy to say, but that's what you need to do, to be true to yourself, so that you can eventually get on with your life and be with someone who respects you and loves you just as you are.
Thanks for your comment. If she can't get over her ex in 9 years,i guess she never will