My co-worker is a playboy. He would flirt to most of the girls in the office including me. But I don't like that my co-workers think that we have relationship just because we ride the same mode of transportation when going home because we live in the same city. It all started as a joke, but it feels like as the time goes by, i don't feel like it is a joke anymore. I am faithful with my boyfriend. Even though this guy flirts on me even while we're heading home, i don't flirt back. I am forcing myself to treat him nicely even though i'm pissed that he always want to flirt on me because i don't want to be rude. Actually i feel like he really wanted to get my attention and he is doing everything just to get it. He would buy me things or food. One of his motives is to feel my breasts while we're on a bus, but i know it, and im doing all the tricks to not allow that to happen. He also keeps on holding my hand, or putting his hand on my shoulder, which i keep on putting away. And he is so persistent in keeping on doing it. There was a time that as we head home, we had to cross the pedestrian but the time is running out and we need to hurry or else we would wait for another chance to cross the street, so we run so fast and he held my hand just as if trying to care because vehicles are just seconds to run again, but as usual i would close my fist because i dont really want to hold hands with him. The bad thing is we had another co worker that is also the same city with us, that is already on the other side of the pedestrian and saw us. And i'm so stressed that she might tell others that she saw him holding my hand. And when that happens, many would really presume thay we have relationship. I dont know what to do. Or how i can defend myself. He is so persistent in holding my hand that maybe the only way i can stop it is to get angry while he keeps on doing it. Should i show him that i am pissed off? Should i be angry? Should i be rude? It's so hard trying to be nice to this kind of person.
At the end of the day, it doesn't matter if your co worker is a flirt or not, you're in a relationship with someone else. While your good manners prevent you from telling him where he stands with you, sometimes you have to fight fire with fire, and if he continues to abuse your personal space, then you need to be forthright with him to put him in his place.
Stop wasting your time being "nice" to someone who is a predator. Touching your breasts? Holding your hands? Grabbing your shoulder?
This is sexual harassment young lady and needs to be reported to your employer. Whether it all happens at the workplace or outside of it, you work together and the rules of sexual harassment apply. His behavior is unwanted and undesired. But one thing you need to do is find your voice. You are being very passive which he sees as you are okay with what he is doing since you not one time have told him to STOP!. You haven't said NO! You haven't said LEAVE ME ALONE YOU JERK! You haven't told him GET AWAY FROM ME! You see the difference?
You have to speak up to defend yourself and stop worrying about his feelings. Tell your HR director what has been going on so that they can put things into place to MAKE him stop harassing the female employees. It would really be best if several of you went to HR and reported him together so that management can get a clear idea of how bad the problem is.
Oh I forgot, and if he buys you anything from now on, toss it into the waste bin right in his face. That will be a clear message that you don't want anything from him. Do not smile at him. do not thank him. Just toss it and go on with what you were doing. If he tries to touch you on the bus, slap him and call him a pervert. Make a scene. He will be so embarrassed and confused he will step away from you quickly. lololol
He's not touching my breasts but he's trying, yet im doing my best not to let that happen..and whenever he's touching my hand and shoulder, im also telling him not to and then im avoiding his hand or putting it away from my shoulder but sometimes he will still do it..my voice and actions aren't enough..seems like i needed to get angry for him to stop.