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Sexless newlyweds - HELP

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My husband and I have been together for 3 years and married for 1/2 year. Let me first start off by saying that before my husband and I moved in together we were having sex 4x a week (that went on for about a year and a half).

I moved in after a year and a half and sex dwindled significantly. He is VERY type "A" , mid 30s and never lived with anyone before, never had a serious relationship, so it was a huge challenge staying together during this time. I thought it was only natural that our sex life would subside for a while.

Well, a year and a half later we are only having sex 1X A MONTH.

Relationship Past: I have had a few serious relationships that were over 3+ years. I have never had an issue with a man wanting to be intimate. In all my previous relationships I could be wearing sweat pants , no makeup and hair in a bun and my boyfriends would still find me sexy.

I know what you are thinking "Why don't you just talk to him?" , well I have MANY MANY TIMES. I am BIG on communication. He constantly makes backhanded comments about me wearing sweat/yoga pants or my old college t shirts. He stated that it was a turn off for him and that is why we were not having much sex. This just confuses me because I find him sexy in anything he wears. Also I am used to guys wanting me no matter what. I listened to him and decided to start putting in more effort (don't think I let myself go or anything, still fit, just enjoy my yoga pants and active wear tops). I started to throw on jeans and a cute top and put some makeup... month later, nothing changes with sex. I ask again , he states that now it is my pajamas , does not find it hot for me to wear pajama pants or old college shirt to bed... got new pajamas ... still nothing.

He later proposed and I of course said yes because besides the sex he is a great partner, friend, and companion. I figured that we will get back on track because I mean we were having it all the time before so why couldn't we go back to that? After the proposal I had a serious talk and stated I did not want to enter a "sexless marriage" and suggested counseling because I don't even think he knows why he barely wants to have sex. He stated that all he needs now is more cuddling. It was then that I realized my soon to be husbands love language is affection and he is way more sensitive than I thought. SO... I thought I found the solution I had been seeking all along!!! ... NOPE. I have made every modification and now I am at the point where I don't care if he makes fun of me or doesn't like my t-shirt, my pajamas, and I have pulled back on cuddling because he isn't fulfilling my needs, why should I cater to his? (I know this is not healthy).

Now before you say " HE IS CHEATING" I can assure you he is not. He is the guy that would much rather hang out with me than a friend. He would spend every waking moment with me if he could.

Has anyone else ever gone through this? Any advice? BTW we are going to start counseling in a couple weeks however could use all the help I can get.




Sexless newlyweds - HELP

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Did you turn him down fairly often for a period of time? It has been proven that a man being turned down as few as 3 times in a short enough amount of time can make them stop wanting sex.

Also, sometimes guys do want to feel like their lady dresses sexy just for them occasionally.

Sexless newlyweds - HELP

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Hey Dear,

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. sexless relationships are very bad to a person's self-esteem (I've been there) especially when the partner isn't big on communication.
From what I can gather, he keeps making excuses instead of facing the issue head on; plus, his backhanded comments are rather hurtful.
Could he be addicted to porn?
Could he be stressed at work/ in general?
Did you suggest couple therapy?

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