Long distance relationship breakup
My gf had to move to a different city for work. We wanted to end things before they moved because they thought they couldn't handle long distance but once they moved we actually decided to stay together. We've only seen each other twice since they moved due to the pandemic so things have been strained between us and decided to go on a break and just be friends for a while. After seeing each other again over Christmas we decided to try things again properly and commit to long distance.
A week into the new year, they suddenly want to just be friends. We spoke about this and they said they've been losing feelings since before our break and that's why they wanted to do it but seeing each other brought those feelings back. Theres also a friend in their new city that they never refer to by name which has always made me suspicious but she's says they have become close like siblings. They spend a lot of time together and the friend takes care of her like making her food and helping her make friends which Im grateful for because she struggles with those things. The friend has been telling her how bad his previous long distance relationship was and has also been trying to convince them to move in with him and share a room together. im saying all of this because my gf also said there's a guy who's been showing her interest but never specified who. she said she doesn't want to go for the other guy but she said that they could provide her with a lot physically but not emotionally. I can't help but think its the same person and im too scared to bring it up because he's her only friend right now.
They still want to be friends which I have never been against but right now im not sure if I can handle it again.
I just need some advice about my situation.
Personally, I'd walk away. I've found that remaining friends with ex's is always more drama than it's worth. It sounds like this girl is extraordinarily flighty and dramatic.
She's too confused and random in her decision making to try and keep the relationship going too.
Regardless of what's going on, LDR's make for hard work, even for married couples who have been together for years and the current restrictions with Covid make it all that more difficult.
You need to follow your gut, rather than your heart, and do what is going to make you happy and enables you to live your life contently. It's a hard road trying to be someone who is miles away when you don't even know where you stand with them because they don't know themselves. If you guys are not or can't be committed to each other for whatever the reason, then you basically have nothing in relationship terms, other than maybe a lasting friendship.
Time to see the handwriting on the wall:
Not only is this person putting you into the “friends” category, this person is also starting up relationships with other people. Really - sharing a room with someone? How did it get to that stage where that was even a topic of discussion?
You will need to break this off completely and find someone who lives near you if you want that a full, giving kind of relationship. Your “ friend” can’t do that for you .
The alternative is to pull up your stakes and go live where this person is living. But I really doubt if that’s what this person wants you to do.
Accept that you are the “ex” and move on. Refuse to be used any more.
She's struggling to afford her current apartment so he offered that she could temporarily move in with him and his roommates till she finds a new place.