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Help un predictable partner. Who I can't understand well at times.

NAM.82 profile image
So we have been together for almost 4 years. The issues I have are that he says he adores me wants to move in with me in the next 2 months and I'm unsure. He keeps leaving in the night with no explanation. Doesn't call and expects me to chase all the time. Uses excuses such as I just come when I'm feeling upset or I just want a good night's sleep. I have fibromyalgia and other long term health issues. I struggle sleeping. But he wants sex almost every night..he says he doesn't know what to do when we go to bed as when I'm in pain he doesn't know if he should try making love. Then we end up doing it any way. I feel like it's out of guilt or anxiety. But it's really bothering us both. And I'm wondering if I should walk away and tell him not to give his home up..I don't feel settled I am misrable alot. If I carryed off like him he would go absolutely mad. It's.ok for him but not.me.? I'm 38 he's 47 and he bores me alot. He doesn't make quality time with me. Most we do is go to the food stores fgs. He sits in the kitchen and I sit on my.iwn all the time.

Help un predictable partner. Who I can't understand well at times.

BLUEBIRD11 profile image
Hey Nam,

I hope I can help you with your uncertainty, but keep in my mind that this will be only my opinion and that whatever you do must come from your heart.

If for someone reason your answer isn't a straight yes, then just say no. Call it a gut feeling if you like. If you are unsure then that's already the answer that you need.
There's no problem in him going out but at least I would expect a good reason. Because that it's what it will happen now and in the future. He will keep on leaving, doing whatever he pleases because he owns you nothing. When to people commit to a relationship, they keep being individuals yes, but don't expect to act solo without owning an explanation to your partner.

You need to really think on your future. Now more than ever. First and foremost,you need to love yourself first.
Sex with pain? Just don't!
Sex almost every night? No! Sex is when you want it to be. Sex is something that is natural between two people that love each other. It shouldn't make you feel miserable. Ever! Just say no!
Sometimes you can just touch each other while kissing, or just have some fun. Love is love and it can be shared in many ways. If you feel forced to have sex, if you feel lonely in that relationship, bored, with no time for both of you... Just get out before it gets worse.

Love yourself and do the best for you. Fibromyalgia is no joke! And you need someone that understands this.

Help un predictable partner. Who I can't understand well at times.

Default profile image
Don’t feel under pressure to make any kind of a decision about this.

Clearly there is a lack of quality commitment and intimacy to this relationship. And it’s not going to get any better.

Take control of the relationship and make sure that your needs are met.

There’s nothing worse than being tied to a person that bores you.

Help un predictable partner. Who I can't understand well at times.

NAM.82 profile image
Thank you for your advice. It's a vicious circle it never changes even after talking about everything. Well today I have just told him to leave me alone and drawn a line under the relationship. I am keeping well out of his way so he can't try talk me round. My dad can take him his belongings. But I know in my.heart it's not healthy. And I can hopefully focus on me and my health. Sometimes it's best to just walk away. After telling him I was done he had nothing to say and blocked me. Sometimes think that he isn't been honest. So better off alone.

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