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Would this be classed as rape/ sexual assault?

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A few months back, I went to a small party with a few of my 'friends' and their friends. I got really drunk and I ended up taking drugs, which was the first time I'd ever taken drugs. I was ruined, I cant remember any of the night, I slightly remember because put to bed by my friend but barely. In the morning my friend woke me up and said she can't believe that she can't believe that I had had sex with *ben*, then I realised that my underwear was thrown across the room. I can't remember having sex with him, I can vaguely remember seeing his face in the room bit I can't remeber anything else. I had met him once before that night but I didn't talk to him and I didn't talk to him that night either. It turns out after I was taken to bed, some of the other boys were telling him to come and have sex with me. And after it had happened he went downstairs bragging about having sex with me. I don't know what to think about it. My friend that was there that night said its technically rape, but then she laughs about it. I got chlamydia from him too. Would this be classes as rape?

Would this be classed as rape/ sexual assault?

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Yes. You were unable to provide consent.

Would this be classed as rape/ sexual assault?

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Even though I think I was awake whilst it happened?

Would this be classed as rape/ sexual assault?

BLUEBIRD11 profile image
The thing is... you barely remember the situation.. you may even given him consent and don't remember it. What a tricky situation you put yourself into. Please don't this to yourself. Get drunk and taking drugs with 'friends'... you put yourself at risk. Something far worse could have happen and then what? If you don't remember anything it can be classified as rape, but since you did drugs and alcohol the charges may drop and treated as nothing happened.

Would this be classed as rape/ sexual assault?

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I know, I shouldn't have gotten in such a state, I was having a hard time at the time and was drinking alot anyway, I'm not sure how I came to take the drugs that night. I haven't got drunk with people since. Its not an issue of if changes would be dropped or anything because I wouldn't take this to the police. I just want to clear it up in my head, I'm thinking about it alot more recently.

Would this be classed as rape/ sexual assault?

BLUEBIRD11 profile image
If something happen to lead you to do this... there's definitely something that should be solved or talked with someone. I'm very sorry that you are going through something like this. Both of you are at fault. The guy because he did something very disgusting and you. Sincerely... What you did was wrong, but you have to eventually put this behind. I suggest that you get very far away from those people. And that girl isn't your friend... If you feel like talking with someone I think you should go to a counselor.

Would this be classed as rape/ sexual assault?

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If you are just looking to clear it up, and have no interest in taking it to the police, then I assume you are trying to understand how this effects your relationship(s) with your friends. Simply put. Why would you want to be friends with anyone that would do this or encourage people to do this? Personally, I would get rid of every single person that was there that night as none of them cared to look after you.

Would this be classed as rape/ sexual assault?

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I know I was wrong, I should not have let myself get in that state. There was a few people there that I thought I could trust and would look after me, but after putting me to bed, they were the ones that told the boy to come upstairs and have sex with me. I haven't got drunk with other people since, I just drink by myself when I want to drink. I barely bother with the girl anymore, but sometimes she makes it hard for me to cut her off, like she'll keep ringing and messaging me. I already cut her off once before for a few months because of something completely different and unrelated, and now she won't let it happen again.

Would this be classed as rape/ sexual assault?

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I am sorry you are going through this. You really need to realize that there are evil people in the world. In this group, especially this girl, are examples of people you need to distance yourself from. They absolutely used you. All of them. This is a wake up call for you to judge other people better. Learn to stay away from users. Never drink to the point where you are under control of yourself. Block, ignore, screen, - it’s really quite easy. Change friends. Get counseling. You were assaulted, for sure. You are on the edge of becoming depressed and suffering from self blame. PS drinking alone is not a good idea. You are trying to numb your feelings with alcohol. You really do need to talk to somebody about what happened to you and the betrayal shown from these people.

Would this be classed as rape/ sexual assault?

BLUEBIRD11 profile image
What makes me think about this the most is that there's something going on that lead you to this path. And if you don't acknowledge whatever it is other things will certainly follow. Like everyone said. Each one of those people the ones that watched like nothing happened and the ones that tell him do it. Everyone is at fault. No one is innocent there. Please seek counseling. Don't be ashamed. And tell the other person what happened and follow her guidance. It will get better.

Would this be classed as rape/ sexual assault?

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I am sincerely sorry you were violated in so many ways. It sounds as though I am hearing you say you trusted the friends you were with that night and leaned on them for support during a hard time. It sounds as though they violated that trust and seemed to encourage behavior that would do nothing more than bring you additional harm and hurt. The situation and circumstances are definitely a great deal to process and wrestle with. As fallible human beings we sometimes make choices that are not in our best interest but reason ourselves into those choices at the time. Only later we experiences the consequences of our choices. When these situations happen it is important we ask ourselves, "what did we learn" and do our best to grow from the experience. When we learn and grow from an experience it helps us to step out of shaming ourselves and gives us additional confidence when faced with similar decisions. This horrific experience is a lot to work through alone. Think about how it might feel to talk with someone like a counselor or a life coach, as was suggested. Talking with a person separate from the situation may help deliver additional perspective and bring some peace and comfort. Forgiveness is another aspect you may want to consider. Forgiveness can be very freeing for the person carrying the burden. Please understand me forgiveness is not the same as trust. Trust is earned but forgiveness is something a person can do to release weight of burdens they are carrying around. When we forgive somebody that doesn't mean we forget or trust them. The trust must be earned but it does allow us to breathe more easily and see life more clearly. My hope is you allow yourself some grace and realize we are all fallible. It is what we learn from our mistakes that propels us forward to new horizons. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

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