Distrust in a relationship
I am seeking a perspective that might help me to understand my cause of distrust and be free from it. I am in a newish relationship about 6 month. It is going very well, and my partner invests a lot of time and effort into our relationship. He makes an effort with my family, he has been vulnerable and opened up to me about past hurts. Everything is going very well... and then... there is that seed of doubt.
It started when he showed a lack of interest in me intimately (lasted 2 weeks), and he explains that he was exhausted at the time, which he was. However, during this time he went out with a friend until 4am and the next day I saw him and he was wrecked. There also was some Malaysian money next to his bed on the side table where I sleep. He had also previously, on a couple of occasions, appeared to move his phone out of my line of sight, and was on his phone a bit. All of these things got me suss. I spoke to him about it, and he assured me there was nothing else going on.
It is now a couple months past that point, and he has been great ever since. He is on his phone less, has deleted people he doesn't really know on snap chat, and he gives me his full attention when we are together. My trust is building, but I get triggered easily. For example, when he walks away and sends a text. The more I focus on his phone, the more he does too. He has assured me he doesn't want anything to get in the way of us, and he says I really need to trust him. What do I do? I don't want to rehash what happened months ago, or question him every time he uses his phone out of my sight.
Anyone else had these issues? I would love to know how you working through it. I would love to hear some inspiring stories. Thanks!
Six months is not a long time for a relationship. If he had a history with other people or other friends it might be taking him this long to break those relationships off. It sounds like he had a lot of bad habits to break.
Try not to get so serious in such short of a time. Both of you are adjusting your lives to be together.. Look for positive changes.
You must decide in your mind whether you are going to trust this guy or not.
Your BF invests a lot of time and effort into your young relationship and reassures you that all's well...you either accept that and trust him or you don't. Your relationship won't go very far if you're hung up on his certain habits and actions which make you suss for whatever the reason. If anything, you need to look at why you're triggered easily and go from there.