Intimacy issues in marriage
Me and my husband had a massive argument before Christmas which ended up being a blessing in disguise, for the past 5 years there has been physical affection in our marriage inc sex. We both acknowledged we are more like parents living together. Over Christmas I tried to offer my husband affection, however it was just very awkward for both of us. I think working alternative shifts and having a young child has definitely put a wedge between us both. We haven’t talked since before Christmas and it’s gone back to pretending everything is okay, it’s a very lonely relationship to be in. I don’t feel I can bring up the conversation and I feel like I’m waiting for him to say something to me.
He can be very critical towards and puts me down around cooking and housework, yet he does very little himself. We both work full time and my job is stressful but he doesn’t support me in any way. He obviously has great difficulties showing he cares even tho I know deep down he does, ie before Christmas he showed very little concern that I had a lump on my breast, I am fortunate my friends and family were very caring. I don’t usually cry a lot but over Xmas I did and he just said “what the f is wrong with you” then stormed out the house.
I don’t see myself as a needy person at all.... just would be nice to feels close and loved from time to time by my husband. He wouldn’t be open to marriage counselling so I have no idea what to do next? Part of me doesn’t want to give up my my marriage but the other part thinks I don’t want more years to pass and think I wish I had turned the clock back. Any advice would greatly be appreciated
When is the last time you two went away for a weekend?
Do you have date nights?
Clearly life gets in the way of marriages. Both of you working plus children plus whatever is going on in the world today has been just very stressful for everyone.
Puzzling that some people don’t want to go to marriage counselor. Don’t they realize that there’s really no choice? The marriage is sick and they must participate in getting better. Or they risk the death of the marriage.
Thanks for taking the time to reply. Much appreciated. We don’t really have date nights, we do have couple nights out etc. Good point about the marriage counsellor I may need to bite the bullet and approach it with him.
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