Please help. My fiancé thinks I ruined VDay I feel she’s wrong
Here’s the scenario.
VDay was (from start to almost finish) verging on the best day ever. We woke up early, made breakfast, watched some Netflix and had an Afternoon Nap. When I woke up it was only 1:30pm. The room was dark and AC was blowing, perfect vibe for awesome afternoon sex!
The day couldn’t get better i thought, but it did. She told me I had an hour to get ready for a place she was taking me for dinner! When I was ready I came out to her she standing there looking stunning, seriously gorgeous and with the most thoughtful gift ever. After a great meal, conversation and laughs we went home. She told me she had a movie planned and she was going to give me a massage. I felt like a kid in a candy store and happily agreed.
Now this is where I need clarity and advice;
The massage (which was a first) was given to me in our bed where all I had on was boxer briefs and she in a red tiny nightie (normal bed time attire for her). After a good 45 minutes of utter relaxation and pleasure I was absolutely turned on. I thought for sure we would be having round 2. “Why not”, I thought. Everything was perfect and the stars had aligned. So when I flipped over from my back so she can do the front part of my body I was surprised when she stopped suddenly before my man-hood area was addressed. I mean she rubbed my bootie like she was kneading dough. But I thought she was joking, teasing me, so I said, babe aren’t you going to finish??? She said she was. I still thought she was kidding so I said, “really?” and BOOM that was it! She was immediately upset and asked why would I think that? Why would I expect sex? She said we already had sex. Then she asked what were my expectations? I said based on the day, signals, vibe and how turned on I you made me.. SEX. She then stormed out of the room and I was left to feel what the hell just happened. What was wrong with me that I can be so far off? I ended up going downstairs and fell asleep there. The next morning we didn’t talk and she went to work. We text about the situations and she wasn’t seeing my side (which is normal). She finally said and not till after I felt disgusting and dirty like i did something wrong and how could I have been so insensitive, that she had started her period! Right after we got home from dinner and she shouldn’t have to tell me that.
WTF I thought. I told her, you could of just said, babe I have to let you know that I just started my period. Then I could of decided what to do at that point. Then all this bullshit would have completely been avoided. Now here we are not talking and a day that was perfect is now ruined. I feel that my expectations aren’t and weren’t in the wrong but maybe they are. Help me either feel validated or let me know I’m an ass for not being able to read her mind that she started her period.
No, you weren’t “wrong” but you are never going to win this argument.
Bring her flowers and express the need for better communication.
You're going to have to be able to have a reasonable conversation about this (maybe wait til her period is over), to get a mutual understanding of better communication between the 2 of you. She needs to be able to tell you these things, when it matters.
If she can't do this, you may want to rethink your engagement. Do you really want to have this fight every month for the next 30ish years?