Awkward question about showering
Growing up, for some reason or another I didn't take showers very often (maybe once a week or so). This may be related to my ADHD and my constantly wanting to do things that I would enjoy more than taking a shower.
However, now that I am getting to be 15 nearing 16, the problem has stuck around. It's getting to be genuinely problematic, and it's also becoming more difficult to do as my workload also increases, and I often stay up until midnight doing homework.
I think in order for me to make this long-term change, I have to make this a normal routine in my life and find a way to consistently get myself to shower.
What potential steps could I take to make this change happen. In addition to this, what are some ways to help implement a routine in the long term in general, especially keeping in mind the challenges that my ADHD may provide here.
Find a time in the day whether it’s morning, middle of the day or evening, and try to stick to it so that’s it becomes an everyday thing. It’s a mind set that you would need to try and get into.
If you think of the benefits too, eg you’ll feel better after, and remind yourself of them when you really can’t be bothered or you get distracted. It does have to be long either. Choose a shower gel too you like too.
As another person with ADHD I gotta ask:
Agreeing with Lily. Find a consistent time to shower. It doesn't really matter when (I like at night as it helps me unwind), but many others like the morning.
Make it the first thing that you do every day. Even set an alarm on your phone to remind you, if necessary.
Thank you all for the responses. I thought I would respond to add a few more details and thank you for all of your help. Firstly, thank you all for the advice, I think especially that finding a time of day to stick to could be helpful. However on that note, I need to bring up a few more details.
Showering at morning or night is often difficult for me because:
1. I often get up fairly late and have no time for a shower in the morning (I often don't even have enough time to finish breakfast).
2. I often stay up fairly late doing homework, and by the time I am finished I don't have time for a shower. This is partially because I am fairly tired, but also because
3. I have a problem with my showers going on for far too long, often for as long as 45 minutes. I think this is probably because the shower really amplifies my distractedness, and it can be difficult to stay focused on washing for even a few minutes straight.
With these things in mind, I have considered a few options for how I might be able to get past these obstacles. First of all, I have considered taking my showers right after school. This would hopefully pressure me into making my showers quicker. Unfortunately, there is a decent chance that I will end up still taking long showers, as right after school is often one of the most distracting times for me. On the other hand, this would at least somewhat remove the excuse that I have for not having the time.
Secondly, I have considered slowly easing myself into it to make it more normal, and so that I can get used to taking showers on weekdays. One specific way that I thought of was starting off by taking showers consistently at least once on the weekend and once on Wednesday. While it is still not up to the general standards of hygiene, it would help me not be an absolute disgusting mess most of the time, and if I could pull it off successfully, it would be immensely helpful in establishing a schedule, and helping me make this a consistent part of my routine, hopefully opening it up to more days per week as I get more comfortable with it, and possibly helping me to limit my showers.
Anyways, thank you all again for the advice, and please let me know what you think of these plans if you are reading this. Thanks again.
Not to be too harsh about it, but it seems as though you're making excuses. Is there something about taking a shower that bothers you, or do you just not want to do it?
I don't really think I'm purposefully avoiding it, it's more a combination of factors in various ways.
I think the ADHD plays a big part in it, with my distraction leading to me staying up late with homework and making my showers way longer than normal. However, it's certainly not the only reason, as many other people with ADHD don't face this problem
Another reason that I think probably contributed to it was the fact that as a kid I was pretty resistant to showering frequently. This meant it wasn't a regular part of my routine as I started hitting puberty, and for me, that makes it much more difficult to do as structure is very important for me to accomplish anything.
As mentioned in the first paragraph, I tend to take really long showers (like 45 minutes), and although this is probably going to be easier for me to change than many other things, as things stand, it makes it far more difficult to shower as it takes a significant amount of time.
I do think you're right to a certain extent that it is me making excuses. None of these things directly are preventing me from doing this, only making it harder.
I would think a good analogy might be someone who grew up struggling with their weight due to genetic and environmental factors struggling to lose the weight. Do they have the ability to lose weight? Sure, but those factors add up to make it much more difficult for them to do so.
Hopefully this answers your question and doesn't come off as too passive-aggressive.
That is why I recommended the phone alarms. As a reminder. And if you do it right away, you could even set up some kind of reminders for when you're in the shower. Like an alarm that says "soap up" or "rinse off". Something to be a constant reminder so that you don't take overly long in the shower.
I've seen some examples of extreme OCD behavior, where someone will use a kitchen timer in the bathroom while showering so that they soap up for a long enough time. Just thinking something similar might help you out.