I have no friends
SUPERSTAR6318 - Mar 2 2021 at 17:54
I have no friends. I am a 28 year old female and I can speak to people easily ;I'm not shy. Currently I study an online degree and to earn money, I pick up ad-hoc work as and when I can. I've befriended people in the past quickly and hung out with them (prior to lockdown), only then to discover that they are not for me due to several reasons (one friend would act immature and childish) and the other friend would be the type to not care about others during lockdown and continue to break the rules. I couldn't trust her as she would tell lies and be more fixated on alcohol and drugs.
Anyway, we are soon to come out of lockdown. I have no one at all to do things with. I have my mum but that is all- we take walks together a lot etc, but I want to make friends with people my age. I've tried online dating for many years without success: a lot of people have been flakey so I've given that up. I don't know what to do. I feel lonely and I want friends who aren't online only. I am aware of how I am: I'm outgoing, polite and find it easy to speak to people. Note: I live in an area where meet ups aren't so common. I'd have to go into London to meet up with others. All I want is at least one friend to have a meal or go to the pub with. I'm scared that when lockdown is lifted I'll be missing out. I feel sad and upset.
Hopefully, when lockdown is lifted and places open up again the opportunity to make friends will happen for you. It’s good that you have that self awareness & those are all good quality but it is finding people who are similar, that you will get on with.
The best thing I did when I started uni was join a book club, it’s carried on online for the moment, and I slowly made friends that way because we all shared the same interest. pick something you enjoy doing and see if there is an group, even if it is online to start with. Maybe there is a walking group near you or one that could be started?
Hope that was a bit helpful! :-)
Lock down is brutal on friendships. And being outside a city also makes things tough.
I think you're trying most of the right things. Just it takes time (and COVID messed with things badly).
It might be worth driving into London for meet ups (not sure how far that is, though, so this may be awful advice!)
You can also go to the pub alone and potentially talk to people there. Often people who are alone also want a buddy (or are looking to pass time while waiting for their friend to arrive).