Trying to get to know this woman better, I deserve her
First of all, before I write, I have to give the disclosure that I have not listed my real name on here because of privacy reasons and risk of confidentiality being compromised.
I am 30 years old and I will attend my favorite school next Spring Semester for graduate school. It is my dream school as I am obsessed with their football team.
I am a convicted felon and back in 2012, I was charged with a felony and a misdemeanor.
My felony conviction was:
Planning/Conspiring/Endeavoring to perform an act of violence.
My misdemeanor conviction was:
My felony conviction was for the reason that I had taken my car and drove about 1,000 miles to a different state and had threaten to harm a woman.
My stalking charge was for being angry because I had blamed that woman for something and drove all the way down to that state.
I was convicted of the crime in 2013 and got out of prison in 2015 and was put on 5 years probation. However, after I got my probation transferred to my state, my Piece of crap mother and piece of crap uncle tried to get a probation transferred to my favorite school’s arch rival state because my mother had gotten a job at that state. I didn’t want to live in that state because I am passionate about my favorite school and absolutely despise the arch rival and that state. I had fled state lines and violated my probation. I was on the run for 92 days and got caught. I went back to prison and was released for good in May 2017.
I have high functioning autism and during my sentencing, my lawyers tried to convince the judge that I have high functioning autism.
I went back to school and finished up my undergraduate degree.
I took my GRE last September and earned a 337/340 on it.
The graduate program at my favorite school didn’t require the GRE.
A few days ago, at the city park, I met this woman who was walking her dog. We spoke for 20 minutes and the conversation went really well and she congratulated me on getting accepted into graduate school. I went home and looked her up on Google and found out that she is a Criminal Defense Attorney and that she got her Law Degree from my favorite school. I sent her a follow request on her Private Instagram Account and she accepted my follow request to her Private Instagram Account. I haven’t disclosed my felony conviction to her yet.
My plan is to at least talk to her in person a couple more times before I reveal my felony conviction to her.
I went to this website for Lawyers called AAVO and asked other lawyers if a woman who is an Attorney would lose her Law License if she either dated a convicted felon or just associates with a convicted felon and they said no.
The one issue that I will have assuming that she does not judge me because of my previous felony conviction is that:
Her Friends (She has friends in high places around the community.)
If she does judge me based on my past and doesn’t want to either date me or associate with me, I will attend my favorite school for graduate school next Spring and then drop out of my favorite school. I’m not the one paying for it, my piece of crap mother will be the one paying for it. I honestly don’t care. There will be 2 reasons for doing this:
Because if that woman doesn’t want to associate with me, then what the honest frig is the point of me getting my masters degree from my favorite school? She earned her Law Degree from my favorite school. I will have a hard time focusing on my studies, I will refuse to make friends, and just have a shitty time, even though it is my favorite school.
Get even with my family for trying to get my probation transferred to the state of my favorite school’s arch rival.
I deserve to have this woman and I am either owed a relationship with her or deserve to have a friendship with this woman.
This woman should not judge me because of my previous felony and misdemeanor conviction.
I am entitled to have this woman and have a proud sense of entitlement.
How exactly am I NOT entitled? I deserve this. How do I NOT deserve this?
I have pure justification to getting to know this woman better. Why should a felony deprive me from getting to know this woman better? Why should this felony deprive me of dating her?
The world owes me everything.
Regardless of what's gone down in the past, and whether you're genuine good guy or not, the world owes you sweet f all. A felony won't necessarily deprive you of a successful relationship with any woman, but your attitude will.
I want you to think about why you committed your felony. I'm guessing it had something to do with the attitude you've revealed in this post. (Esp. "I deserve to have this woman and I am either owed a relationship with her or deserve to have a friendship with this woman.")
If I knew who you were, and were friends with this woman, I'd warn her off. Not because you have a felony, but because it seems like the very behavior that *got* you the felony (and that probably terrified and traumatized a poor woman for possibly her *entire life*) is still very present. (In fact, I wouldn't just warn her. I'd tell her to run as fast as she could and not look back.)
It doesn't seem like you've reflected on why it might be bad to, as you put it: "My felony conviction was for the reason that I had taken my car and drove about 1,000 miles to a different state and had threaten to harm a woman."
Not at all.
It seems like you're plotting the same damned thing with this woman.
Find a therapist and try to figure out why you're convinced that the world owes you the woman you want.
(Also, try to imagine what it's like to be her. Imagine that a 6'6", 300 lb. body builder/MMA fighter fixates on you. He's determined to have you. Never mind that you're (probably) straight. You explain this to him, but he believes that he is "entitled to have this man and has a proud sense of entitlement." You try to explain again that, no, no, you don't belong to him, he's not entitled to do what he wants with you. He continues to call and pester you. You see him driving his car around your neighborhood at night. You call the cops because you do not want to be raped by this big dude you're not attracted to. They don't do very much about him. He knocks on your door. Maybe once he grabs you and forces you to do things you don't want. Eventually you flee 1000 miles away to escape him. He doesn't care. He pesters your friends until he learns where you live, drives 1000 miles, and threatens to kill you. Is he entitled to do that? If so, please send me your real address, phone number, email, etc. and I can make this think you're not overly concerned about come true....
And if that *doesn't* sound okay, realize that this is *exactly* what you've done to a woman. *That's* why you have a felony on your record. Please do not repeat your mistakes.)
You aren't entitled to anything, especially another person. You need to walk away from this woman and seek therapy.
I WILL not walk away from this woman. You don’t tell me what to do.