Don’t know what to do next
For the last 15 years I have been in a relationship. It was complicated from the off however we continued with with and as we stand have a beautiful home and child together. No marriage as partner refuses to divorce the ex due to finances. I was not the cause of their break up.
So over the last 15 years I have had 4 issues whereby conversation happened between my partner and others which really should have been red flags but I love my partner and worked through them. I was told I was overreacting nothing was going on.
Then our child was born things were good however I’ve recently found a further 5 people who my partner has made comments to (all whom are single) which I’ve found inappropriate. Comments along the lines of “very nice” on half naked photos of said person or “well what can we say again” to another half naked photo also the mention of if said partner had been younger they would have gone off with this other person. One particular comment was made on a Christmas Eve while our daughter and me are preparing for Christmas my partner feels it appropriate to be commenting what I feel inappropriately to others. That one hurt the most. However I’m being made to feel I’m overreacting as nothing is going on. Which I absolutely believe I totally believe my partner has never had sex with someone behind my back however I am not comfortable with comments that have been made. We’ve had these conversations yet my partner continues to make these comments to others. I have a feeling I know what I need to do but what I’m asking from outsiders is am I overreacting? Am I really in the wrong for feeling degraded and put down by said partner?
Thank you for reading.
It sounds to me like he is refusing to grow your relationship. He is still married to another woman, living with you and both of yours child, and he continues to act like a bachelor with his comments, all while apparently having no regard for you.
In my honest opinion, you never should have let it go this long. Being with you for 15 years while still being married is wildly inapropriate and a recipe for multiple failed relationships.
My partner did attempt to end the marriage over 20 years ago (so long before I was on the scene) however due to the other party refusing to sign the paperwork and this resulting in high costs the divorce never happened. Of course I am unhappy with the divorce not happening but we never planned marrying so it’s never been an issue for us.
Can I just ask what made you think my partner was a man?
I’m beginning to regret the last 15 years of my life however we wouldn’t have our beautiful child if it wasn’t for those last 15 years. Am I really the mug/fool that I feel I am?
The comments on pictures of half naked people seems to be more of a man's trait. Women in my experience are usually more subtle.
As for the answer on the last 15 years, I'm pretty sure I answered that.
And refusing to sign the papers is usually a poor excuse. If they are at an impass, the judge can just rule on it and end the whole debacle.
Thank you for your opinion.