Am I over reacting? Help
Hi all, I am needing some help.
A month ago hubby and I were at a 30th for one of his friends. He bumped into someone he used to know there (around 8-10 years ago) and they invited him to their birthday up north.
After discussing it I asked him if he could please not go as I was not comfortable with it (they do alot of drinking and drugs). On Friday he says that the party is tomorrow and he was going to go. I again asked him not to especially since Sunday was the 1st year anniversary of my dads death and I wasn't coping very well and needed him here with me (as it was up north he would be staying the night) he still went.
When he got home on Sunday we didn't discuss it as our kids were awake and once they went to bed I just crashed as it was an emotional day for me. Last night I brought it up and he didn't even care, started yelling at me and name calling then when I told him how it had made me feel he just ignore me and went on his phone scrolling on Facebook.
I guess I just need some advice on what to do next and if I was over reacting or not from people who aren't biased.
Thanks so much
No, you are not overreacting. As his spouse you should be the main priority in his life. The fact that he went after you asked him not to, and reacted so poorly when you brought it up later, tells me that he is hiding something. Whatever he went there for, he knows you wouldn't approve.
No, to me, this is not over reacting. It sounds like you gave him valid reasons as to why you didn’t want him to go (twice) and in the end he decided to go anyway. Your needs weren’t met especially when it was to do with a bereavement. Surely he must of had some idea it was the anniversary of you loosing your dad?
If he wanted to see his friends couldn’t he have gone after COVID restrictions had been lifted, at a more appropriate time, mainly for you and everyone else ?
The fact he got angry with you....I think shows he knows he did something wrong, it’s whether he will admit that or not.
I would let him know that your upset by this and would like to calmly discuss this again when he can do it without getting angry and name calling and get your feelings acknowledged.