My crossdressing kinda sorta boyfriend
ESIOTROT - Apr 19 2021 at 14:24
Hello, 21 yr old girl here, she/her pronouns.
So. I've been in this pickle for a little over a year. I am asexual, I usually say celibate for convenience- and although I feel romantic attraction I've never had interest in having a relationship.
So this guy comes along, at first I thought he was a girl because he dresses as one and doesn't mind people using she/her pronouns but he prefers he/him or they/them. Basically he's really cute and I do something out of character, pursue him. In a friendship way of course but after we became good friends it began to dawn on me that I had a crush it's usually not a big deal, I let them fade. But we spend every day together and I just felt myself falling deeper so I decided to get these feelings off my chest and confess. My only hope was to be able to remain friends but to my surprise he too has a crush on me.
We proceed to be in a bit of a limbo, I have no interest in relationships still but I feel responsible for being the first to confess and everytime I say I think we should stay friends he's supportive but still acts like we're together.
telling me he loves me
getting jealous or upset when I show others affection
He knows I Do like him so it's very hard to turn him down and I don't know how to be more clear- I am also afraid he'll think I return the feelings of another man who tends to flirt with me and that I'm choosing that guy over him when I really just am not a girlfriend, relationship, couple kind of person. Any advice?
So because you are A sexual then that is why you can not be in a relationship?
If that is the case then tell your friend the reason also understand that some times a person that is A sexual could actually just be Demisexual and feel sexual attraction when they are in love and trust the person fully, so explore that also go to the doctor and do a check up because it could also be a tumor in the brain :( sorry to tell you that but a lot of the times that is the case but if is nothing of that matter I have mentioned then you are A sexual and so just let the person you like know and see if they want to be with you, even though there will be no sexual interactions.
We've been sort of together...in limbo for a few months, he knows I'm asexual and although I do sometimes worry he'll want sexual things out of me he knows I'm only romantically attracted to him and he hasn't shown any interest in that stuff either.
And it's not just because of my asexuality, it's that, even though I like him and he likes me, I don't want to be in a romantic relationship. I would prefer if he would find another person to be with that would be in a relationship with him but he won't let me go.