Should I tell him how I feel
BUKI93 - Apr 27 2021 at 15:20
I've been dating a guy for about 2 months, we've been seeing each other a couple of times a week, staying over at each other's houses, going for walks, hanging out, playing games, cooking together, spending the night...
We both wanted something serious and made that clear from quite early on so as to not waste time.
We talked every day, sending memes and discussing work, general nice conversation, we have lots in common.
2 weeks ago I said goodnight to him (we did that pretty much every day before sleeping) and he didnt reply - fair enough I thought, hes probably gone to sleep😅
Next day there were no messages from him whatsoever, I texted a "Hey how are you today" and again, no reply all day. Next day I sent "hey just checking you're ok? Hope work is being good to you" and again, no reply.
The day after that I was a bit worried mainly because this guy texts all day long and we are both quite talkative so I tried calling, no answer.
He then messaged me that evening saying "big problem I'll let you know I'm sorry"
So I immediately think oh crap i hope everything is ok, hope his health is good, hope everything is alright with this job and family.
So thennn I text him "ohhh hope everything is ok, I'm so sorry. Let me know if theres anything I can do to help"
No replies after that for one whole week.
I waited 8 days and texted him to please update me whenever he could, I've been worried (which I genuinely had).
Again no response. That was around 3pm.
That evening about 11pm I'm on Instagram and I see hes posted a photo of him kissing a girl on the cheek, another photo with them both in it and a couple more of some place they went to together for the day.
I just thought WOW. What happened to communication? I would have had SO much more respect for him if he said "listen we are just not working out but I wish you the best" instead of full on ignoring me like this.
I'm not going to pretend it's been years with this person and I'm so so hurt I've lost him - it's only been two months. However there have been beautiful memories and I did like him very much.
I sent him a message after seeing the photos saying "I don't really know what to say haha, it just would have been nice if you let me know we weren't working out 🙃 just so I knew that's all. Instead of not communicating it because I had truly no idea. I wish you all the best anyway".
He saw that immediately and no reply.
I just feel like I (or any human being) deserve to be told about where we are at in the relationship. I feel extremely sad - not because I'm losing him but mainly because I feel that I have been treated so badly and with an element of total disrespect. I feel kinda disposable.
What makes things a bit worse is that I had made him some toy model thingies, he knows I'd made them and I'd spent quite a lot of time money and effort on them (I kept him updated throughout the process as I treated it like a commission) and he knew I was going to give those to him next time I saw him. He also knew I had planned to cook a special dish for him to bring over with me on our next date to enjoy.
These little things to me, just seem to add to the whole disrespect thing and make it seem like he didnt care.
I'd love to know if anyone agrees with me about this and also if you think I should text him yet again, letting him know how i feel or should i just leave and forget him entirely like he seems to have done with me?
It's still all very fresh so excuse the lack of structure and the length of this absolute essay!
p.s would like to add that after finding the girl's instagram, I found a post of photos she uploaded at his house (I recognised the house and surroundings), they had eaten together and walked and gone out to town and the next day me and him were together - so obviously he was seeing both of us at the same time. not sure if this adds anything except making me feel more stupid but just in case!
"Respect your own feelings so forget him but don't forgive him"
friendship is an action that involves two people. So if you have a good feeling your friend feels the same way you do, then it's probably safe to tell him. but in your case it's seemed he don't care about your feelings otherwise he should share with you his feelings about that new girl but he start ignoring you so he was just used you in his free time you think its a friendship from your side but he was just a time passing with you, so it's better to keep quiet and wait for good time he will try to return when "The ghost of love descends" that will b perfect time to tell him how he Abuse your feelings, so the meanwhile move on and forget like a nightmare the same way he did with you after find new girl
He treated you badly so it’s no wonder you are left feeling the way you are.
He has ended things in a very cowardly, dishonest way, by just suddenly stop responding to your messages. He even made up a crisis was going on at his end to avoid you. When, like you said, it would have been a lot easier and a lot less hurtful (for you) if he was just honest with you.
It does sound like he was dating you and this other girl at the same time, so he got to have the best of both worlds whilst he decided who to pick. Tbh I think you had a lucky escape, he’s already shown he can’t be honest and what kind of bf he would have been.
So no wouldn’t get in contact again. You did tell him how you felt in a text and he didn’t respond (because he knows he’s in the wrong). Time to move on :-)