I feel marriage was a mistake
So, my husband is a good guy. As far as not cheating and abuse goes.
But, the attachment to his mother, is gross to me. His mom has tried living off of him idk how many times, and if it wasn’t for me... she would. This Mother’s Day she even asked him for a ring. She has a boyfriend for stuff like that. He doesn’t take up for me when she makes remarks about me, that are meant to start trouble. (I think he tries to ignore it but it comes out when he drinks).
On to the drinking, with his job he can drink... but if he could he’d drink the whole time he was off of work, and when he drinks he becomes an evil twin, it’s my fault for being upset that he’s drunk before 11am... if I don’t like it, I can leave (when two years ago he begged me to stay home from my job... so a lil stuck).
On top of being home, I’ve been having health issues... I’m seeing a rheumatologist currently. Applying for disability because of all of the issues. Working isn’t exactly doable home schooling kids either right now... but yeah, I’ll just get out... you know.
Another thing... we have zero in common. All he wants to do is pokemon, video games, and set on his phone when he’s off... unless his mom or friends call, then they get his undivided attention when he goes to see them. He’s always distracted when he’s with me, there’s never any cuddling while watching tv or anything, his touch has come to feel like that of a stranger.
There’s so much more.
I’ve talked to him about constantly. Nothing ever changes and if it does, it’s very short lived.
We’ve talked about separating several times and made an agreement of how we will do things because we’d still like to remain friends for my kids (he’s all they know as dad)... which is fine, he’s great with them. I’m allowed to stay here while fighting disability. We’ve discussed who gets what furniture wise and such.
I’ve tried so hard. I feel like I’m losing. I just need advice. Help. Something.
If you've tried everything and it's still not working, then you either just go with the flow or get out and be on your own. When you discuss amicable separation and sort the furniture, then you've both basically done the hard yards of preparing to live apart. The guy's not going to change and as you post, other people are his priorities, no matter how hard you try to turn it around.
If you feel you'll be happier by yourself, then it's worth it, because if you're happy, then your kids will be as well. Kids don't benefit from a drunk 'dad' at 11am nor do they gain anything from an upset mother because of it. Some professional counselling would benefit you as well as your husband, if that's possible, but his drinking issue is his to sort and not yours.
Sure, he might be a good guy in some ways, but that doesn't take away from the fact that he's failing to be a caring husband and a best friend and at being a decent role model for your kids.