Is my partner manipulative?
I am in a relationship with him for 5 years now, and we are expecting our first child (I'm 4 months pregnant). But I feel that our relationship is not going well and I am very anxious about that. I have a feeling that he is manipulating me and that his manipulative tendencies have increased now when I am pregnant. At the same time I am not sure if maby my behavior towards him was bad, so he is wounded and because reacts very cruel. I need some advice to understand what is happening.
Our fights have the same pattern all the time:
- he is late, or he is forgoten some of our arrangements, or he suddenly changes our planns, he doesnt help me with house chores, smth like that
- I get upset or angry (I do not yell or freak out, but I become
- he freaks out, starts yelling, calling me names etc
- I am trying to calm the situation, to talk with him, to explain that the situation is not that bad, that I am appologizing etc.
- He becomes more angry, accusing me of being selfish, teling me that I like fights and tension, that I am making problems from nothing just to hurt him on purpose
- Somethimes he hurts me so much that I cry and become very upset, but he then become more angry and tells me that I sholud cry because I am evil and that I deserve to suffer
- Sometimes I fight back and start yelling and become rude, then he tells me that I am crazy and he is afraid of me.
- Then he doesnt want any contact with me for hours and sometimes days
- Then I am appologizing to him and trying to make out, and then he is okay.
I feel totally lost, I am aware that I am somethimes jealous or impatient, but I also think that his reactions are to strong and I am afraid that he doesnt see any of his responsibility in this. I would like our relationship to change because we are expecting child, but not sure it is possible because he is blaming me for all our problems.
Please any insights or suggestions are welcome.
This behavior is very toxic.
This environment will not be good for your baby.
My Friend this is clear signs of immaturity in a "man" he fight for dominate n nothin any how in this situation I am 100% agreed with "SUSIEDQQ"( This behavior/environment is very toxic and not for you and your baby.
he is 100% doing wrong but its up to you if you want to left that is perfect time for you and if you want to fix "then ill let you know what you need to do to fix it" then most important suggestion for you "meditation" to get rid of toxic effect that harmful for your little innocent angle in the meantime you try to nice and gentle with him just to gave birth to an angle till that try to avoid argue … he is late, or he forgotten he suddenly changes plans, he doesn't help you with house chores, being selfish just remember "avoid argue" because every things start with argue every single tension you take it's directly affect your baby High levels of stress that continue for a long time may cause your health problems, like high blood pressure and heart disease. During pregnancy, stress can increase the chances of having a premature baby or a low-birthweight baby. (that you don't want)
"So action for you to take"
Walking away. Avoid discussions that'll only make your blood boil -- tell the offending party that you're feeling sensitive and you would rather not talk about the issue. Then give yourself a half-hour and take a stroll, whether it's around the office or around the block.
Staying active. Swimming, tennis, walking, gardening — many types of regular exercise can keep your hostility barometer in check while helping to relieve physical discomforts.
Writing it out. It can be very cathartic to vent on paper — through journal entries, poems, or outrageously nasty letters that you never mail.
Taking a mental health break. Whether it's a day off work or a two-hour escape from the kids, pamper yourself: Get a facial, see a movie, buy a pair of shoes.
Seeking professional help. If you find your anger is making it hard to function, consider talking to a therapist.