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Break it off or keep it going?

Posted by
CONFUSEDGRADSTUDENT2012
on Aug 28 2012 at 18:03
Member since: 28 August 2012
Relationship advice forum category advice forum category met guy on an online dating website. me: late 20's; him: mid 30's. had a great first few dates. i don't know if i sensed that much chemistry, but we have a lot in common and he seemed really into me. i'm still talking to people and his profile is still up on online dating site. i get the feeling that we're both lukewarm about each other. but, i think part of it is we're both busy. we have a lot in common and i respect his work, interests, and his values.

we started having sex pretty early on, but i confirmed with him that he's not dating anyone else. the sex is great btw.

my question: i'm wondering if i should hold off on having sex with him as long as his profile is still online? or, if i should break it off all together if i'm not feeling chemistry? how long should i wait to feel chemistry with someone?

Reply from
HELLO
on Aug 28 2012 at 20:36
Member since: 14 August 2012
I think as long as you and him are comfortable with the sex regardless of your relationship status, it should be okay.

However, there is the case of emotional attachment that may occur between either or the both of you, and that usually ruins the entire relationship.

So what I would do is to hold off on the sex and go on more dates with this guy to see if I feel anything for him, if sparks fly when we meet, if the conversation flows and everything feels great.

If there's absolutely nothing you feel for him after a few more dates, then let him know, and let him go. It'd be easier for everyone if you break it off early. Ask yourself how you feel around him. Is he an ideal boyfriend? Is he an ideal partner? Or is he more of a friend to you?

Whatever it is, you must be honest and realistic.

If you have any questions about him, ask him. Only he has the proper answer for you.

Also, tell him how he makes you feel, and what you've been thinking in terms of your relationship with him.

Negative or positive, he needs to know.

Because one day he'll find out altogether anyway

And you might as well be the one to tell him first hand.

Communication is typically the #1 thing to accomplish in any relationship.

You can do it!

Reply from
LOSINATLOVE
on Sep 26 2013 at 02:15
Member since: 26 September 2013
I agree with holding off on the sex. I'm in a similar situation as you but once I asked the guy about how he felt he said I was definitely his type but no fireworks?! So now I feel used as I have an emotional attachment which more women do than men with sex.

We still text but he hasn't wanted to meet.

Discussion closed - why not create your own thread?